Completely Unexpected
by musiclover67
Summary: It's funny how in one moment, one small moment, everything can change. I never expected to be kidnapped, and I definitely never expected it to be the best thing to ever happen to me. MurphyXOC ConnorXOC  better than summary, I suck at them
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

You know it's funny how in one moment, your whole life can change. Everyone had always told me that, always told me that I needed to hold on to what I had, because it could all be swept away in an instant. Naturally, I didn't listen to a word anyone said at 18.

I moved to South Boston right after graduating high school, looking for any kind of change. A change of scenery, a change of people, a change of mind. I was accepted into the University of Massachusetts and was planning on majoring in Psychology. I needed to get away; get away from my mom and her controlling new husband, away from my Dad and his ridiculous need to be with difficult women, away from my friends who gossiped worse than the bad girls club, and….him.

But we're not going to talk about him…at least not now. All you need to know is he broke me…broke me in a way only your first love can do.

So the point of this little rant is how my life changed drastically in one instant.

I had no idea that when I applied at the little Lakeview Café that I would actually be hired.

I had no idea that the restaurant was a favorite of the Italian mafia, nor that most of the men in there had the means to kill me in an instant and cover their asses without a sweat.

I had no idea that on one regular afternoon shift, my whole life would be turned around.

**~BDS~**

"Hi, my name's Bri, can I start you guys off with something to drink?" I asked, taking the pencil out from behind my ear and taking out my pad of paper.

"Get us some coffees and waters will ya?" the dark haired one asked, giving me what I'm assuming he meant as a charming smile, but I just found kind of creepy.

"Yeah sure," I said, giving my best smile, and walking behind the bar to get the drinks.

"Bri," my manager said, his grey eyebrows furrowed, "Be nice to my boys alright?"

"Always am," I said, winking at him before placing the drinks on a tray and walking back towards the table.

"Thanks babe," the lighter haired one said, winking at me and reaching for the sugar.

I held my tongue, hating the nickname and leaned on one leg as I slipped open my pad again.

"Did you figure out what you want to eat?" I asked.

They ordered spaghetti, one of our specialties, and I quickly went to the back to get two plates, a big hot pot of spaghetti sitting on the stove. I scooped out two good helpings and brought it to the table, accepting their thank you's with a smile and a nod.

I went to help the couple that was sitting at another table, served them drinks, then sat at the far end of the bar for a break. The bell rang and I watched a scruffy guy walk in, his eyes darting all over the store. He seemed jumpy but I didn't think much of it. I jumped from the bar stool, waiting for him to sit down so I could take his order but he didn't. He walked past all the two-person tables and I watched the lighter haired man at the table I'd served lean over to watch the man walk in.

The man walked to the table where the two men were sitting, not even seeing me as he rushed by. The two began talking to the man and I shot a glance at my manager. He looked nervous,standing stock stil and staring at the man. I tried to make eye contact with him, trying to ask him silently what he was so worried about.

The next thing I knew I heard a shot from the table. I screamed, covering my ears and ducking underneath the bar. My whole body was shaking and I heard more gunshots being fired. I heard the other customers screaming and the frantic ringing of the bell as everyone scrambled out of the door. I knew I didn't have a chance like they did. If I even moved a little bit, the man was sure to see me.

I saw him run by, and I clenched my body further under the bar, biting my lip to keep from whimpering.

"That was funny wasn't it?" I heard the man start to yell, "That was real fucking funny, huh?"

I watched as he stepped on the step where the bar stools were, reaching over the bar.

"No, not me!" I heard my manager try to yell, "Not me!"

"Funny! Funny!" the man shouted, shooting again and again, "Funny! Funny!"

I let out a scared whine, listening to his body pound to the ground. I saw the shooter freeze, and then lean back a little bit to look under the bar.

"What the-" his eyes widened when he made eye contact with me, "Oh shit…Aw shit…shit..fuck."

"Please don't shoot me!" I yelled, losing all self-control, "Please I won't tell anyone, please!"

"What?" he asked, stopping his mini-fit he had been throwing to turn and look at me, "I'm not gonna fucking shoot ya, shit. I've just gotta figure out what to do with ya."

I stayed curled up in a ball, staring at the man with baited breath. I was willing to do anything, just as long as he didn't pull the trigger on the gun he had still clenched in his fist.

"Come on," he said after a moment, "Come on hurry up let's go!"

I scrambled to my feet, tripping a few times and following him out the door. We heard sirens in the distance.

"Shit!" he yelled, "Shit! Come on we gotta go!"

I ran after him and we stopped at a gray car. He opened the door hurriedly and pushed the seat back, stuffing me in the back. I tumbled head first into the seat, my legs barely inside before he was smashing the seat back again, climbing into the drivers seat.

"Stay down!" he yelled, glancing at me in his mirror as I tried to sit up, "I don't want anyone to see you. Shit…Aw shit…God I am gonna get in so much trouble…"

I stayed curled up on the seat behind his, trying to take deep breaths. I kept thinking I should've ran when I got the chance, should've made a run for it the minute he said he wasn't gonna shoot me. Instead I was stuck in his backseat, hiding from the cops I so desperately needed right now. I was kidnapped.

He suddenly slammed on the brakes, and I looked out the window, only seeing a black gate and some tan walls.

"I'll be right back," he said, looking at me in the mirror again.

He threw the door open, tripping out and then sticking his head back in the car to look at me.

"Please," he begged, his voice much softer, "please don't leave alright? It's not safe for you out there, I would kill myself if you ended up dead 'cause of me."

I nodded, and he slammed the door closed, running through the gate and around a corner.

I waited for what seemed like hours. I couldn't believe I was actually listening to my kidnapper, simply staying put when I could've easily made a run for it. He didn't know me, he didn't know where I lived. It didn't look like he was in any position to hunt me down anyway; he had enough problems as it was.

A part of me, however, wouldn't let me leave. So I just laid there, staring at the seat, listening to the fast beat of my own heart.

I saw the gate move and got a very quick glimpse of two extra bodies along with my kidnappers moving towards the car.

"Listen Roc' did anyone see ya?" I heard one of them say, and he threw open the driver's side door. He threw a thick wound up black rope in the back, and I watched it land on the opposite side of the back seat.

"Fuck man I might as well have been goin' round postin' fliers!" I heard him respond, and I saw another body along with his pressed up against the car, "Right out in public, man."

"Liberating isn't it?" I heard the other guy say.

"Let's fucking go!" the guy in the driver's seat yelled, and the passenger door was opened.

"You know, it is a bit," the man responded, moving the seat and climbing in to sit next to me. His eyes widened when he spotted me, as if he just remembered I was there.

The other climbed in to the passenger side, and turned around. His eyes landed on me and his eyebrows raised in obvious surprise.

"Rocco what the fuck?" he asked, turning his head to look at him.

"What?" I heard the driver say, turning around and spotting me too.

"Rocco what the fuck!" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air, his face turning a little red, "You kidnapped a girl!"

I shrank back a little bit, watching the lighter-haired guy shoot daggers with his eyes at Rocco.

"Connor come on now calm down," Rocco said, leaning farther into his seat and putting his hands up in surrender, "Just lemme explain-"

"There's nothing to explain Rocco!" the other guy yelled, though his voice was a bit softer than Connor's, "You can't just kidnap people, this girl's innocent."

"I know that Murphy," Rocco whined, "I know that. But I couldn't just leave her there! She was a witness! She could've reported me!"

"Out of the car. Both of you. Now." Connor said, his voice deadly. He got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

I jumped and Murphy gave me an apologetic smile, "Sorry, he gets a little cranky."

I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders, "It's o-ok I guess."

Rocco shook the chair, "Come on man, get out before he comes in here and kills us."

Murphy glared at Rocco before climbing out, and the door closed behind both of them. I was left in the silence of the car once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**Ok so I forgot to write an author's note on the last chapter and I'm new to posting on this site so I have no idea how to edit the chapter once it's been posted lol. Anyways, this is the next chapter (obviously) and any reviews, opinions, ideas, anything like that are completely welcome. I have a basic idea for this story, but it's not super developed. This is one of those stories that I'm just kind of going with the flow on. So if there's anything you guys want to see (I'm completely open) let me know :)!

**Chapter 2**

I was straining my ears, trying to listen to what they were discussing out there. I was staring out the window. They were standing next to the trunk of the car. Connor looked super pissed, and Murphy looked similar, though his face wasn't quite as red. I found myself staring at Murphy a little more than I should have, and I quickly averted my eyes. We were _not _going to start that crap.

Rocco looked upset, moving his hands around frantically, a sincere apology written all over his face. I wanted to know what they were saying! They were talking about me after all, I felt I had a right to know. I reached towards the handle for the window on the driver's side and sneakily rolled it down just an inch. They didn't even notice.

"-keep her," Connor said, his back to me, "she has a life Rocco. She doesn't want to run around killing people with us."

I froze. Killing people?

"Conn' I don't think we have much of a choice," I heard Murphy say, and I could actually see his face. He was rubbing the back of his neck, obviously not too keen on the idea.

"Aw man guys I'm sorry," I heard Rocco say, his hands twisting together, "I couldn't leave her there! I mean think about it, even if she didn't snitch, she could've been framed. And that would've put her in a mess she doesn't want to fucking be in. Right?"

"She's probably not liking the mess she's in now," Connor said, sounding somber.

"Look," Murphy said, "Let's just get the hell out of here, and figure out what to do from here. We'll just take her with us."

"I've got some more guys for you to kill by the way," Rocco said, his face lighting up again.

"Who is it?" Murphy asked, looking like a little boy on Christmas.

"We'll get to that later," I heard Connor say.

What was wrong with these people? How could you get excited about killing people?

I threw the door open, not really sure what I was going to do. I just needed to get out, to breathe, to get away from these psycho boys who got off on killing people.

I climbed out of the car, my heart beating so hard I could hardly breathe.

"What are you doin?" I heard Rocco ask.

I stared at their confused faces for a moment, a deer caught in headlights.

Then I made a run for it.

"Shit!" I heard Rocco yell.

I was running hard, but I'd never been a fast runner. Even with the adrenaline pumping in my veins, I knew this wasn't going to last very long. Before I knew it, I felt strong arms wrapping around my waist, and I let out a huge gust of air.

"Stop," I tried to yell, though it sounded more breathless than anything, "Come on, please, let me go."

God wasn't that pathetic. No kicking the guy in the nuts, or using my fists to try to punch the shit out of him. No I'm hanging limply in his arms, begging for release (get your heads out of the gutter people).

"Hey now, I'm not gonna hurt ya," I heard the guy whisper in my ear, and much to my dismay I felt a shiver of pleasure run down my spine.

Really? Could my body not control itself at all?

"You can't do that though," I heard him saying, and I realized with a jolt it was Murphy, "You're gonna get hurt or something."

He moved his arms to hold my arms back, and we started walking the opposite direction I had been running. I lifted my head, and didn't realize until the wind blew on my face that there were tears running down my cheeks. How embarrassing; I couldn't even wipe them away.

We made it back by the car again, and I saw Connor looking at me with a look of concern on his face. Rocco was sitting on the curb, his head in his hands.

"You alright?" Connor asked.

"I'm fucking fine," I said, a sob escaping my throat, "I-I don't understand why you w-won't let me go! Please…"

Connor took a deep breath; this obviously pained him. This comforted me slightly, he didn't want me here anymore than I wanted to be here.

"Look we can't alright," Connor said apologetically.

"I can't stay with you!" I yelled, finally finding my voice amongst my tears, "I need to go! I'm in college, I have a family back in Missouri, please! I'm not going to give away your identities, nothing I promise!"

"Are you here by yourself?" Murphy asked from behind me.

"Yes," I said.

"Well then why wouldn't you wanna stay with us eh?" Murphy asked, and I could hear the grin on his face.

"Because you guys kill people!" I screamed, and I tried wrenching my hands out of his grip, but there was no luck, "You guys kill people and get excited about it!"

"Whoa she's kind of feisty," I heard Murphy say, and I tried to move out of his grip again. All he did was chuckle. Some good self-defense I have.

"Hey listen, you've got it all wrong," Connor said, trying to make eye contact with me, "We don't just go around killing people."

"Oh yeah ok," I said nastily, "So just the people you think deserve it, right?"

"Pretty much," Murphy said with a laugh.

"That's so wrong!" I yelled.

"Murph shut up will ya?" Connor asked, giving him a very motherly look, "No we kill bad guys. The ones that deserve to die. You know who I'm talking about."

Realization dawned on me, and I knew Connor was watching my face.

"You guys…" I let it sink in, "You guys are the…uh…what's the name…saints! You guys are those saint people that were on the news the other night!"

Murphy laughed and I smiled too. He was too contagious for me not to join.

"Does that make you feel better?" Connor asked, a smile on his lips.

"Loads," I said, and I let some of the tension leave my body, "Wow…this is so cool, I've wanted to meet you guys!"

"Well here we are," Murphy said, letting go of me and letting me stand up completely, "In the flesh."

"Ok I've gotta ask," I said, a smile on my face as I looked between the two boys, "Who's idea was it to use the rope in the one killing at that hotel?"

"Ha!" Murphy said, a huge grin on his face, "That was all Connor. Him and his stupid fucking rope."

"That was so cool!" I yelled, getting excited, "ok what about-"

"Hey we can chit chat later alright?" I heard Rocco say, and it startled me. I forgot he was there, "We need to get the fuck out of here."

"Right," Connor said, his face taking on a professional look and walking to open the car.

Rocco rushed in and Connor jumped in the driver's seat, slamming the door closed.

"So I never got your name?" Murphy asked, looking at me.

I could melt in those eyes. They're so blue and…

I mentally slapped myself. _No, _I thought, _don't do this to yourself._

"My name's Bri," I replied, looking away from him.

I walked towards the car and I could feel his eyes on me. He followed me to the passenger side door.

"Bri eh?" he said, "I like it."

He opened the door and I climbed in, trying to hide the blush on my face.

**A/N:**OK so yeah I feel like writing two Author's notes lol. I just want to start off by saying, while this fic is going to be romantic, it isn't fluff. Sure there will be some cute parts, but I'm just warning you now, Bri has a history and it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows.

On another note, I know this chapter was kind of boring. I needed a filler, something to get her on their side. I probably won't update again unless I get reviews though….I don't want to write a story and nobody reads it lol. Please please PLEASE review and don't hesitate to give me constructive criticism, or some ideas. I'm leaving this story a bit open to the public right now.


	3. Important please read!

**Author's Note: **

Ok guys I just want to start out by saying, thank you so much for all of your response. I woke up this morning to TWELVE emails, all form fanfiction telling me that people have reviewed, added me to their favorite story list, favorite author list, and story alerts. This is super flattering, and I'm sorry that this alert couldn't be for another chapter.

Problem is, I'm having some writer's block. As much as I'd like to just watch the movie and put Bri's character in it, I don't think anyone would really want to read that. If you wanted to read the movie, you could just watch it with the subtitles.

Anyway, I need your guys' help. Any suggestions, any thoughts, and plot lines, anything like that you can think of, send me a PM or put it in the reviews, whatever's easier for you. And if you really want to, you could even volunteer to be my partner in this. Maybe I could get someone to just throw me ideas, and I'll make them a story.

Anywho, until I get something going, I really won't be able to go any farther with this story. I don't want that anymore than you guys do, so pleaseeee give me some suggestions :D!

All I know, is that Bri's going to have a dark history, and there will definitely be some angst, along with some scenes that will earn this stories M rating.

I'm kind of rambling now, so I'll end this here, lol.

Thank you all for reading, and I'm looking forward to everyone's feedback.

~Bri :)

P.S. Yeahhh I kinda sorta used my own name for this story. Lol.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Well I was inspired! Thanks to all of you who reviewed and those of you who gave me advice on what to do about my ridiculous writer's block. I've decided on going an angsty way with this story. Yes, this is a romance, but it's not like the typical ones I've been seeing on this site.

I just wanted to start off by saying, while I'm going to try to stay as true to the movie as possible, I'm not going to rewrite the movie lol. So no, this won't be the movie with subtitles. Promise :).

**Chapter 3 **

"The sinbin?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as the three of them moved around the motel, pulling on gloves, stuffing black masks in bags, and making sure their guns were fully loaded.

"I thought it was a stupid name myself," Murphy said, smiling at me before stuffing a black gun into his bag.

"How long will you be?" I asked, looking nervously at my surroundings.

The motel room was dingy, with feeble lighting and a moldy stench heavy in the air. Everything in the entire place was either rusty or had padding falling out of it. Not to mention the walls were all covered with a substance that looked eerily like blood.

"We shouldn't be too long," Connor reassured me, patting me on the back, "Don't worry, no one will even know you're here."

I nodded, trying to ignore the twist of unease in my stomach.

"You guys ready?" Connor asked, throwing his bag over his shoulder and heading towards the door.

"Yeah let's go," Rocco said excitedly, practically running to the door.

He opened it, turning around to smile at me through that crazy hair of his.

"Take care of yourself kid," he said, "We'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah don't answer the door for strangers," Connor said, following Rocco but stopping in the doorway, "Don't make any super loud noises to draw attention to yourself. Don't-"

"Aye Connor she knows!" Murphy exclaimed with a laugh, shoving Connor through the door.

I laughed, waving to Connor before he walked away.

"Don't get into trouble," Murphy said, giving me a one-sided grin, "See ya later."

I smiled back at him and found myself staring at the doorway even after the door closed with a snap. I shook my head to snap myself out of it, heading to the couch to lounge around and watch tv.

I tentatively laid on the white-stained-yellow couch, flinching at the long squeak and sigh it let out when I put my weight on it. I fluffed up the lumpy pea-green pillow before laying down on it, flipping on the TV. The TV only had 4 channels, so I settled on a mildly entertaining sitcom, my mind elsewhere as I stared at the screen.

_The wind was blowing my hair around, and there was that musky feeling that couldn't be anything other than a storm coming. I closed my eyes for a moment, then looked up at the purple clouds in the sky. _

"_Bri," someone whispered, and I jumped, turning around to see a hooded figure standing close to me. _

_I stared at the hooded figure, a strike of lightening lighting up the area around us. It struck across his face, and I saw those all too familiar green eyes. I gasped and closed my eyes, water starting to fall from the sky as the thunder echoed all around us. _

_ He pushed his hood off, his dark unruly hair sticking up a little. I desperately wanted to run my hands through it, wanted to feel those soft locks slipping through my fingers. I bit my lip, clenching my fists a little, wanting to turn around and leave. _

_ "Bri," he whispered again, "Bri come on, it doesn't have to be like this." _

_ "Jake," I said, letting the tears roll down my cheeks, mixing with the heavy-pouring rain, "Jake this can't keep going on. We can't-"_

_ "Baby," he said softly, cupping my face, "you know you don't want this." _

_ It took all my willpower to keep myself from letting my head fall into his hand. I couldn't open my mouth. I couldn't tell him I didn't want this. I couldn't tell him that he wasn't healthy for me. _

_ Because I didn't care. _

_ "Stop being ridiculous," he said gently, "you love me. You wouldn't just leave me like this." _

_ I shook my head, letting it fall into his hands. I couldn't tell if I was crying anymore, there was too much moisture on my face, too much throbbing in my head. My eyes were closed and I felt him move closer. _

_ "You'll never leave me," he whispered, his lips centimeters from mine. _

_ I nodded, giving him my consent to do with me whatever he wanted. _

I shook awake, an angry vibrate coming from the pocket of my jeans. My hands were shaking as I sat up, trying to dig it out of my pocket. I sniffed and could feel the tears still sticking to my cheeks.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice sounding scratchy.

"Bri," I heard my mom's voice on the other end, "I miss you. How have you been?"

I let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding, impatiently wiping away the tears still left on my face.

"I've been pretty good, nothing new to report," I replied, getting up off the couch and walking into the kitchen, "How are you?"

"Well the kids are still driving me nuts," she said, and I could hear how tired she sounded.

"Yeah those two would drive anyone nuts," I said, opening the fridge and looking for anything that looked good and not years old.

"They miss you," she said softly, "and so does everyone else. When are you coming home?"

"Mom," I said impatiently, grabbing a soda before closing the door, "I go to school here now. I have a job. I'm starting my own life now."

"Well I think it was awfully sudden for you to just up and leave," she said, and I clenched my fist around the phone, "but whatever, it's not my life."

There was an awkward silence as I took a sip of my soda, leaning against the kitchen counter and trying to ignore my mom's comment.

"I told you about it months in advance mom," I said, not able to hold my tongue, "Told you I was applying, told you if I got accepted I was coming here."

"You should've taken everyone else into consideration," she said, her nice-mom façade fading, "You should've realized I'd need you here."

"For what?" I asked angrily, pushing myself away from the counter and looking in the pantry for any more food.

"For me!" she exclaimed, "For the kids!"

"What so I could help you raise them?" I asked, slamming the pantry door when I realized there was no luck there either, "Mom, those aren't my kids! They're _yours_!"

"I didn't say that," she replied, her tone even, "but you do have family responsibilities here."

I took a deep breath before I flew off the handle. I closed my eyes, then opened them again, taking my place leaning against the counter again. After another long drink of soda, I tried to change the subject.

"So how's Aubrey doing in preschool?" I asked.

"She's doing really well," my mom said, "she's doing as well as Gracie did."

"That's good," I said, nodding even though she couldn't see me.

"I think you should consider coming home Bri," she said again, her voice taking on that demeaning tone she gets when she doesn't agree with me.

"I'm not going to mom," I said, my temper flaring up again, "stop asking me to."

"You're being irresponsible!" she exclaimed, "You're just running away from your problems! Life doesn't work that way Bri. You have to live with what you have."

"I'm not running away from my problems _mom_," I exclaimed, slamming my soda down, "I'm trying to make a new life for myself!"

"Fine!" she yelled, completely ditching the be-nice card, "Fine you know what, you go have fun in your little fantasy world while I stay here with everything you left!"

"Mom I-"

I looked at my phone, seeing the call ended. I threw the phone across the room, pacing back and forth in blind anger. I threw open the fridge, grabbing the fifth of Captain Morgan I had seen in the freezer earlier. I grabbed my soda and sat at the kitchen table, barely noticing the new set of tears rolling down my cheeks. I took two shots in a row straight out of the bottle, taking a drink of my soda to chase it down.

This is how I forgot about things. I drank. I drank until I couldn't feel it anymore. Until I fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning with a new day and a new set of things to worry about. I propped my elbows up on the table, liquor in one hand and soda in the other. I continued on like that, trying to ignore the river of tears as they cascaded down my face. Soon they would be gone.

Soon I wouldn't be able to feel them at all.

**Author's Note (again):** Sorry there wasn't a lot of Boondock Saints in this chapter. I wanted you guys to get a better grip on Bri's character, because you were only seeing a small side of her in the other two chapters. I know some of you are probably a bit confused as to what's going on, but that's sort of the idea. I want to keep you on your toes ;). It'll all be explained in due time though, don't worry. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think of the direction of the story or of anything in general really :).


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for your feedback. I literally spent all day at school yesterday outlining up to chapter 10 of this story. I'm going to try to update as much as possible, I really hate it when I get into a story and it isn't updated for months lol. Drives me crazy! Anywho, here's chapter 4. A lot more boys in this one ;).

**Chapter 4**

The burning was starting to not even bother anymore.

Another shot down my throat. Another drink of soda to chase it down. Shot. Soda. Shot. Soda. What number was I on? Ten I think. Maybe eleven.

I could vaguely here shuffling as the hotel door was thrown open. Maybe I should hide? I shrugged. It wasn't even worth the effort.

"Come on guys!" I heard Connor yell. Oh good, well at least I wasn't going to be killed.

"Bri?" I didn't respond, just sat still, hoping he'd realize I wanted to be left alone.

"Bri what are you doing?" I felt him grab my shoulders and turn me around. Whoa, alcohol and sudden movements do _not_ go good together, "How much have you had to drink?"

"Don't worry about it," I slurred, but ugh the room was still spinning, "I'm fine."

Then I felt it. That jolt in your stomach and that hot feeling in your mouth.

"Oh shit Conn I'm gonna-" I cut off, trying to get up quickly and just make it to the bathroom. I figured not opening my mouth was a good plan. I swayed, holding onto the table with one hand for balance, the other hand clasped over my mouth.

"Ok," he said, putting my arm around his shoulders and walking me to the bathroom, "ok come on, let's just get you to the bathroom."

I nodded, and groaned, my head spinning even more. As soon as I saw the toilet I dropped to my knees, finally opening my mouth you could say. Ugh this was the worst part about drinking; usually I could cut myself off before it got to that point.

I felt Connor pulling my hair out of my face and I internally thanked him. I wouldn't have been able to talk if I wanted to. I laid my head on the toilet bowl and I could see him holding my hair, on his knees, the rest of his body turned the other way, obviously trying not to look. I felt ashamed and tears prickled at my eyes. Ugh. I _hated_ it when I got that drunk. Where everything's a big deal and you're crying over the dumbest things.

Murphy suddenly appeared in the doorway, taking in the scene before him.

"Bri what the hell, you sick?" he asked, looking at me.

I nodded but didn't say anything else. He looked at Connor.

"She's been drinking," Connor said, trying to whisper but I could still hear him.

"Oh," Murphy said, "Look Conn' I can take over, I know how much this stuff bothers you."

"Are you sure?" he asked, though I already felt his grip slacken on my hair.

"Yeah," Murphy said, coming into the bathroom and sitting right next to me, "Go on, I got it."

Connor gave an appreciative nod, letting go of my hair, mumbling a "feel better" to me before scrambling out of the bathroom. Murphy chuckled, gently pulling my hair from my face again. I closed my eyes at his touch, hoping that I was done throwing up. I really didn't want Murphy seeing that.

We sat in comfortable silence, and I felt myself begin to relax against the toilet. It's funny, when you're drunk, you can fall asleep almost anywhere.

The next morning hit me like a smack in the face. I hadn't even realized I fell asleep until I was opening my eyes. My face was on the dirty rug under the toilet, my body curled up in a ball. I spotted Murphy, his back up against the wall, head resting on his shoulder, asleep.

He was with me the whole night? I shuddered, my heart starting to pump, and my hands beginning to shake. I knew my reaction was completely irrational, but I needed to get out of there. I managed to sit up, ignoring the throbbing of my head. I stood up, trying to get out quietly when I felt Murphy's eyes on me.

"Where you goin'?" he asked, rubbing his eyes, and rolling his neck around.

I shrugged, not trusting my voice yet. For all I know, I probably sounded like Darth Vader. A shaky, scared Darth Vader at that.

"You ok?" he asked, noticing my hands shaking, "You want some coffee?"

I nodded, watching him stand up, stretch (and damn was it nice to watch _that_) and walk out towards the kitchen. I followed him, collapsing in a chair at the table, watching him pour two cups of coffee.

"Who made it?" I asked, my voice only a little raspy and, thankfully, steady.

"Connor," he said, smiling and handing me my cup, "he always does. Milk? Sugar?"

"Both," I replied, and he handed them to me.

I took sips, trying not to look at him. I knew I needed to ask him, but I didn't feel like bringing it up. It's not like I remembered anything anyway.

"So," Murphy asked, sliding his cup a bit on the counter with his hands, "why did you drink so much?"

I looked at him, surprised by his question. I locked my eyes with his blue ones, and had to look away from the intensity of his gaze. It's like he was trying to _read_ me, not just see me.

"I don't know," I shrugged, looking away, "I just like to drink I guess."

Another silence, though this one filled with tense air, the kind that makes you want to bolt from the room.

"Why are you so-" Murphy began.

"What did we-?" I tried to ask.

We both stopped, looking at each other and nervously laughing.

"Ladies first," he said, motioning towards me with a grin.

I took a deep breath, looking into the light brown depths of my coffee cup.

"What did we do last night?" I asked.

There was a silence, and I closed my eyes, biting my lip anxiously.

"What?" he asked, sounding thoroughly confused, "What do you mean? Connor got home, guess he found you drunk outta your mind somewhere. Rocco and I were messin around and when I came in the motel Connor was holding your hair and you were lying on the toilet. Then I took over."

"That's it?" I asked, finally opening my eyes to look at him.

"Yeah," he said softly, his eyebrows furrowed.

I nodded, exhaling in relief.

"Why would you think something else happened?" Murphy asked, still looking confused and now a little worried.

I shrugged again, staring out the window.

_"Come on baby, take another shot for me," Jake said, handing me another shot glass. _

_ "I've had so many al-r-ready Jake," I said, my words slurred as I hung onto him for support. _

_ "One more and then we'll go home," he said, putting the glass to my mouth and kissing me on the neck. I closed my eyes, taking the glass from his hand and tossing the shot to the back of my throat. _

_ "There you go," he whispered in my ear, and I shivered. _

_ We began to walk, but I couldn't tell where we were going. The room was spinning so much that the walls looked diagonal. _

_ "WherearewegoingJake?" I asked, at this point my sentences starting to sound like one big word. _

_ "Just trust me," he cooed in my ear, leading me into a dark room. _

_ Next thing I know, I'm sitting on a bed, my dress being unzipped, Jake's lips on my neck again. _

_ "Jake I don't wanna do this," I said, though I didn't have any energy in me to put up a fight. _

_ "Yes you do babe," he said, pulling my dress down, "You just never had the balls to do it." _

_ I shook my head, telling him that wasn't true but he ignored me, his mouth moving slowly down my body. _

"Bri?"

I snapped back to reality, watching Murphy's hand go back and forth quickly in front of my face.

"S-sorry," I said, blushing and taking a long drink of coffee.

"What was that all about?" Murphy asked, looking concerned.

"Hey guys," Connor said, coming through the front door and walking to sit with us at the table.

"Hey Connor," I said, smiling weakly at him and trying to ignore Murphy's eyes on me.

"Nice one last night," Connor said with a grin, ruffling my hair and laughing.

I laughed too, swatting his hand away. For such a short time knowing each other, Connor and I sure hit it off quick as him being like the big brother I never had.

"I've got a headache," I fake-whined, "Don't do that."

Connor laughed, getting up to pour himself a cup of coffee. I looked over at Murphy, who was still looking concerned.

I decided to just ignore him.

**Author's Note:** Sudden ending, but I couldn't really think of a good way to wrap this chapter up. Anyway review! Please and thank you! :) I know it was a slow chapter, the next one will be better, I promise.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** So even though in the movie, the next thing that happens is probably within a few days, I kind of wanted to put a gap of time between things. So sorry about that, I know it's not dead-on with the movie. Anyway this chapter….I don't know how to describe it. I guess I'll just let you guys read it lol. Chapter 5!

**Chapter 5**

Three weeks went by. Three weeks of absolutely nothing but messing around and staying in hiding. There were no leads, and the guys were all getting restless. I could tell, because I'd been locked in the motel with them for three weeks as well. The plus side to being stuck in a small space with people is that you get to know them really well, and you get super close.

"Ah!" Murphy and I both snapped our heads towards the sounds of Rocco's yelling, "Connor, lock the fucking door man!"

Murphy and I exchanged confused looks across the table. Rocco stormed in, yanking the fridge open.

"Geez what happened Roc'?" Murphy asked.

"He was fucking jackin off! Right there in the open!" Rocco yelled, grabbing the last beer out of the box and throwing the box on the counter, "Fuck, I'm scarred for life man."

I laughed, feeling a little awkward and burying my face in my hands. Murphy was a mess, laughing so hard he fell of his chair. His laugh was contagious and before I knew it, I was joining in.

"It's not fucking funny man!" he yelled, watching us with a scowl.

We contained ourselves after a few minutes, and I eyed the empty beer box.

"Anyone have money to buy more beer?" I asked, " 'cause I'm broke."

"I do," I turned around to see Connor, pulling a wad of cash out of his back pocket.

I forced my smile away, taking the money from him. There was complete silence as I folded the bills and stuck them in my pocket.

"What?" he asked angrily, "You all do it too!"

Murphy burst out laughing, and I laughed too, Rocco even starting to join in.

I headed towards the front door, telling them I'd be back soon.

"Did ya enjoy yourself Conn'?" Murphy asked between breaths.

I heard a bang and knew Connor and Murphy were now wrestling on the floor. With a sigh I closed the door, shaking my head before heading to the store.

Twenty minutes later I was holding a big paper bag, chock full of groceries, struggling to hold it with one hand while I opened the door with the other. No one acknowledged me coming through the door and I walked towards the kitchen, seeing the three of them sitting at the table.

"His face, blank man," Rocco was saying, "Just nothing there."

Connor and Murphy watched him intently and I quietly set the groceries on the counter, leaning against it to listen in.

"This guy takes out a whole family," he goes on, "Wife, kids, everyone, like he's ordering a fuckin pizza. I knew if I didn't keep it together, it was my ass."

"He has a poker game out back at his place with a bunch of wise guys every Saturday," Rocco said, looking down at his hands, "Worst day of my life, man."

"Well," Murphy said, "I'm sold."

Rocco looked up at him.

"Don't worry Roc'" Connor added, "We'll do this guy right and you'll feel a lot better."

"No," I blurted out without thinking.

All three turned to look at me, confusion on their faces.

"Why not?" Connor asked.

"Well, I mean," I struggled to find the words I was looking for, "it's…dangerous…"

"Oh come on Bri," Murphy said, grinning at me, "this whole thing we're doin' is dangerous."

"Bri it'll be alright," Rocco said, giving me a reassuring smile, "these guys know what they're doing."

I nodded, defeated. It's not like I could've talked them out of it anyway.

**~BDS~**

"Come on Hailey, answer your phone for once," I mumbled to myself, holding my cell phone to my ear.

"Hello?" she answered, sounding tired.

"Did you seriously just wake up?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah so?" she replied, but she was laughing, "where've you been? I haven't talked to you in forever."

"The craziest thing ever happened Hailey," I said, starting to pace back and forth, "I've gotta tell somebody, it's eating away at me."

"Oh God," she said, and I could hear shuffling as she sat up, "Go ahead. Tell me."

I spilled my guts, told her everything that happened, told her all about Rocco kidnapping me and meeting Connor and Murphy. I told her about Murphy and how amazing he is; the first time I had ever admitted out loud to liking him. I told her about the drinking and she sighed at that, but said nothing else. I told her about what the guys do, and how dangerous it is.

"Wait those saint guys that everyone's been goin on about, _those _are the guys you're with?" she asked.

"Uh yeah," I said, "weird huh?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Is the other one cute too?" she asked after a moment, making me laugh out loud.

"Connor?" I asked, "Yeah he's pretty hot. Looks like he'd be your type."

"Really?" she asked, "I'll have to come out and visit sometime."

I laughed and told her she better or I'll kick her ass.

"So how are you doin' with the whole….you know…" Hailey sounded awkward, "Jake thing?"

"Oh," I said, rubbing the back of my neck, "Uh, you know, it's getting better I guess. Is he uh….is he doin' ok…?"

"You want the truth?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," I said with a sigh, preparing myself.

"He's perfectly fine," she almost whispered.

I nodded and even though she couldn't see me, she probably knew that's what I was doing.

"Well that's fine," I said after a minute, "How are you doing?"

She told me a bit about college and about how our other friends were so flaky. I told her she should move out here with me and she told me she was thinking about it. After a few more minutes we said our goodbyes, and I hung up the phone. I felt a little better, talking to my best friend.

I went out for coffee. I had been craving it anyways, and it always made me feel better when I had to talk about Jake. Probably because the first time (because there were many other times) he broke up with me, Hailey took me to Starbuck's and let me talk.

About a half an hour later, I was climbing the stairs back up to our motel. Before I even opened the door I heard yelling. I pushed the door open quickly, and closed it after me, trying to make out what everyone was saying. They were all yelling at once.

"I told you, I never saw him before!" Rocco yelled, and I ran into the kitchen.

"You shoulda done you're fuckin research Roc'!" Murphy yelled, and I saw the three of them standing in the living room.

They were all yelling at the same time, arm's length away from each other, their faces all bright red. I glanced at the counter where the still-steaming iron was sitting. I unplugged it, and walked in the living room. To my horror they were all bleeding.

"Shit guys!" I tried yelling over them, "What the fuck happened?"

Connor looked in the best shape, Rocco looked like he was doing ok, but Murphy was a mess. His anger was way more intense than the other's and he was gripping his arm, yelling things I couldn't even understand.

"Calm down!" I yelled over them, and Rocco was the first to realize I was there.

He stopped yelling, walked out of the living room, and walked in the one bedroom we had, slamming the door behind him. Connor turned around to look at me, then started yelling at Murphy.

"Calm the fuck down man!" He said, gripping Murphy's shoulders.

"I can't calm down!" he yelled, "Jesus, one of us could've fucking died, does no one get that?"

"Murphy," I said, putting a hand on his arm he wasn't holding, "hey no one died alright?"

He looked at me for a second, then exhaled harshly, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I need some fuckin' smokes," Murphy said, his voice muffled by his hands.

"I'll get them," Connor said, letting Murphy go, and heading towards the front door.

I looked at Connor and he mouthed "talk to him" before heading out the door. Murphy uncovered his face and looked at me.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine," I said, pulling him to the kitchen table, "Let's just fix this, k?"

He nodded and I got the roll of gauze that was sitting on the table and started wrapping his arm. It was silent for a few moments, and he wouldn't look at me. I was assuming he was embarrassed.

"So what happened?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"We got there and everything went well," he said, "We shot all the guys down pretty quickly. Rocco can't find the guy he's talking about and then all the sudden he's walking out of the bathroom door. They wrestle, I try to help him, but Connor's holding me back. That really pissed me off. I ended up helping Roc' anyway when Connor got distracted, and then we were in the clear."

I nodded, trying to see where the problem was.

"Then we walk out the front door, and this man is standing on the other side of the street. He pulls open his jacket and he's got a six-gun holder vest thing strapped on him, and starts shooting at us. Rocco claims he has no idea who this guy is and we're all dodging this guy's bullets, trying to shoot back at him. We all made it out ok, obviously, but none of us know who this guy is. He's dangerous though, and he's out to get all of us."

I got done wrapping his arm. I watched his face, and he was looking outside, looking deep in thought. I rubbed his upper arm, not really sure why I was doing it.

"It'll be fine," I said, just trying to make him feel better.

He turned to look at me, and we just kind of sat there like that. I couldn't pull my eyes away from him, and it was scaring the crap out of me. Since when do I actually melt in a puddle when someone looks at me? Since when does a guy moving closer to my face like he's gonna kiss me send butterflies to my stomach? This hasn't happened in so long, not since-.

"Got your smokes Murph!" Connor yelled, closing the door behind him.

I took my hand off his arm quickly and he sat up, his cheeks turning a little pink. I couldn't help noticing how cute that was.

"Thanks Connor," he said, standing up and taking them from him, walking into the living room.

Connor looked between the two of us, confusion on his face. I just shook my head, letting my face drop into my hands.

This shouldn't be happening.

**Author's Note: **Ok well hopefully this was a little better for you lol. I didn't realize how long this was going to be! This chapter was pushing 2,000 words! Whoo! Anyway, haha, I put a little bit more Bri and Murphy in here. Yay for angsty romance! Let me know what you think, please please please. I'm starting this new thing where I'm not going to update until I get at least 3 reviews. The faster you review, the faster I update ;)! Lol.


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much guys for the reviews! I gave you the 3-review-rule and you guys give me more than three in two days! Anyways, this chapter is jam-packed with stuff you guys have been waiting for. Lots of questions answered in this one. Enjoy :)!

**Chapter 6**

"So who do you guys think this guy is anyway?" I asked, looking around the table at all of them.

I was sitting cross-legged in my chair, Connor on one side of me leaning far back on his chair, Murphy on my other side, elbows resting on the table, his body leaning closer to me than was necessary. Rocco was sitting across from me, his hands on the table, clamped together.

"I don't know," Connor replied, "I just know he's dangerous."

"Yeah you don't wanna be messin' with a man that carries six guns under his jacket at all times," Murphy said.

"I swear you guys, I don't know him," Rocco said for the umpteenth time, "He's not in the mafia."

"We know," we all said in unison.

There was a silence as we all contemplated who this mystery man could be. My best guess, which I had already voiced earlier, was that he was not a fan of their work, and just wanted to get rid of them before they killed anymore people. He may not be the part of any mafia, but he certainly wasn't against it either; this much we could tell for sure.

"Let's go to Doc's guys," Rocco suggested, "Relax a bit, have some fuckin' drinks."

"That's not a bad idea," Murphy said, grinning and glancing over at me before looking at Connor, "You in?"

Connor looked at all of our eager faces for a moment, then broke out in a smile.

"Alright," he said, getting up and walking to the dirty hotel phone hanging by the counter, "but tomorrow we get back to work."

He called Doc, and asked him to close the bar early for us so we could sneak in and party. He agreed all too eagerly, and soon we were walking, the three guys with their hoods up to hide their faces, towards the bar.

"You're gonna love it Bri," Murphy was saying excitedly, "So many choices! The best tap beer you'll ever get as well. And Doc, he'll love ya. You'll love him too, sweetest old man I ever met."

I heard Connor chuckling behind me and I turned around, flashing him a grin before facing forward again.

"He's got Tourette's though," Murphy went on, "Says fuck and ass all the time, so try not to laugh. It was hard for me at first, still is sometimes when I'm drinkin'."

I laughed, and told him he didn't have to worry. I wasn't going to laugh at him.

We showed up at a small white building with a worn out sign reading McGinty's. Murphy got to the door first and eagerly knocked on the door- I had never seen him so excited before.

An old bespectacled man answered the door, grinning as soon as he saw us.

"Come in, Come in," he said, moving quickly out of the way se we could all pile in, "Hurry, fuck!, up, ass!"

Thankfully I had my back to him so he wouldn't see me trying to stifle my laughter. I felt like such a horrible person for laughing.

"Doc this is Bri," Murphy said, putting his arm around my shoulder and taking me in for a side hug, "she's our little hostage."

"You boys are up to no good," Doc scolded, "K-k-kidnapping a pretty girl like that."

"Well I'm with them willingly now," I said, blushing at his compliment, "It's nice to meet you Doc."

He gave me a smile before going behind the bar. We all sat at barstools, Rocco on my right and Connor on my left. Doc slid us all shots and we quickly tossed them down in unison.

"Sure you can keep that down Bri?" Connor asked, leaning over Rocco, who was laughing, to give me teasing grin.

"Yeah Bri, we don't wanna be holdin' your hair all night," Murphy said, giving me a playful shove. He took a bottle of rum from Doc, taking the lid off before taking a drink from it.

"You guys are _real_ funny," I said, giving them all sarcastic smiles before taking the bottle out of Murphy's hands and taking a longer than necessary drink, just to prove to them I actually _could_ hold down my liquor.

I handed the bottle back to Murphy, wiping my mouth with my hand. Murphy looked impressed and I grinned in spite of myself.

We visited for a while, filling Doc in on our various adventures and telling him about the mystery man. Connor and Rocco started to exchange theories with Doc while Murphy and I listened, sharing his fifth of rum between the two of us. I was starting to feel that buzz, and I knew Murphy was feeling it too. He would randomly lean close to me, and always managed to brush his fingers against mine when we passed the bottle back and forth. I was getting giggly and kept shoving him when he would brush my fingers.

"Doc what was that one thing you were wantin' to show us last time we were here?" Connor asked, sideways glancing at Murphy and I.

"My m-m-movies I found in the back?" Doc asked, "Yeah Conn' I was wantin' you to see them, since you're into the action, fuck! ass!, movies and such. These are some g-g-g-good ones Connor."

"Yeah lemme see what you've got," Connor said, getting up and yanking Rocco off his barstool, "Come on Roc'"

Doc walked by first, and Connor pushed Rocco in front of him before following after. I saw Murphy grin at the look Connor gave him, which I imagine was a wink or something of that sort. I rolled my eyes and laughed, watching the back door close behind them.

There was an almost awkward silence as we sat facing the bar, the only sound being the scraping of the bottle as we passed it between the two of us.

"Wanna play truth?" Murphy asked, turning to face me.

"Sure," I said, smiling and turning to face him too, "You go first."

"Hmm," Murphy looked thoughtful, taking another swig out of the bottle, "Where was your first kiss?"

"My backyard," I answered, taking the bottle from him, "Summer of my freshmen year, during spin the bottle at a pool party I was having. Yours?"

"At the park," Murphy said, "My 7th grade year, my friends dared me to kiss her."

"Did you like her?" I asked, bizarrely jealous of this little girl from Murphy's past.

"Yeah I guess," he replied, taking his turn with the drink, "as much as you can like someone in 7th grade."

I nodded, watching him as he took another drink. I felt creepy noticing things like the curve of his neck or the lovely color of his skin. Or the dark messy hair that was ruffled from him running his hands through it, or how nice his hands looked wrapped around the bottle.

He took the bottle from his mouth and, too late, caught me staring. He grinned a cocky grin and I looked away, blushing and smiling before snatching the bottle from his hands.

"Are you a good kisser?" he asked, breaking the quiet.

"I don't know," I said thoughtfully, "I've been told that, yes. Are you?"

"I've been told that, yes," he replied, and I realized just then how truly close we were sitting to each other. Our knees were touching and we were both leaning in close to each other.

"How about," Murphy said softly, his eyes never leaving mine, "We add dare onto that truth game."

"Ok," I said, my voice one decibel away from a whisper.

We stared at each other for a moment, trying to decide who would be the first to dare the other.

"I dare you," Murphy whispered, his face no more than 6 inches away from mine, "to _show_ me how good a kisser you are."

I swallowed, the alcohol starting to kick in now. I wanted to, I wanted to so bad it hurt, and trying to fight off the impulse this intoxicated was impossible.

I lifted my hand, cupping his cheek and brushing my fingers against it for a moment. My eyes left his for a second, looking at his lips and his skin under my hand. I took a mental deep breath and leaned forward, my lips meeting his.

It was bliss. Pure and utter bliss. He tasted like salt, liquor, and something ironically sweet. We started to pick up a rhythm, and my hands moved to his hair, his soft, unruly, amazing dark hair. I let my fingers slide through eagerly and he deepened the kiss.

I pulled away fast, not shoving him off, but completely pulling myself away from him. That _feeling_. That feeling where my stomach was twisting wonderfully and my heart was beating out of my chest, not to just keep me alive, but _for_ someone. For him.

He had opened his eyes as soon as I pulled away, a mixture of shock, hurt, and confusion in their depths. I looked away, getting off the barstool and going around to behind the bar. I felt him watching me, and I tried my best to ignore it, grabbing the Malibu down and pouring it into a cup before trying to locate the pineapple juice.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked finally, breaking the tense silence that had slowly taken over the room.

I sighed, putting the pineapple juice back and finally turning to look at him.

"No," I said, walking closer to him, "No you didn't do anything wrong. It's me, it's all me."

I took a long drink, and realized that my hands were shaking really bad and my heart was still pumping erratically.

"I'm sorry," Murphy muttered, looking down at the few remains of our shared bottle, "I just thought you might've liked me."

I watched him, a hard tugging in my chest as I watched him gulp down the rest of what was left and set it on the counter. He wouldn't look at me, and I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes; I had actually hurt him.

"I _do_ like you," I said softly, and his eyes met mine again, "a lot. And that….that really scares me."

"Why?" Murphy asked, sounding half desperate, half frustrated, "Why don't you _talk_ to me?"

I gulped down the rest of my drink, and I could feel his eyes on me the whole time.

"You wanna know what's wrong with me?" I asked, setting my empty glass on the counter with a little more force than necessary, "Jake. Jake is what's wrong with me."

"Jake?" Murphy asked, looking confused, "Who the fuck is Jake?"

"He's the boy I fell in love with back home," I said, jumping over the counter and settling back into the bar stool next to Murphy, "He's the guy I dated my entire Junior and Senior year."

"Did he break your heart?" Murphy asked, looking angry, though his voice sounded sad.

"Not just that," I replied softly, looking down at my hands, "he broke _me_."

"How?" he asked.

I took a deep breath.

"I met him my junior year, we were assigned lab partners in chemistry," I began, "and at first he was an absolute sweetheart. Asked me out on a date, took me to a fancy restaurant, held the door open for me, pulled my chair out for me, all of that stuff. But then…then he started to change."

Murphy was staring intently at me and I gulped looking away from him at a random picture on the wall.

"We had been dating for six months," I went on, gathering my courage, "and I told him I loved him. He told me he loved me too, and I was gone. Head over heels for him, worshipped the ground he walked on. All of my friends tried to convince me otherwise but I was….I was pretty determined we were meant to be."

"Why'd your friends try to convince ya otherwise?" Murphy asked softly.

"He was treating me like shit," I whispered.

"He stood me up on the next three dates we had, and after I called him he always told me his car broke down or there was a family emergency or that he had been scheduled at work last minute. I always believed him; I _trusted_ him."

"You shoulda dumped him," Murphy said, slightly angry, "you shoulda dumped him the minute he started doing that shit to you."

"I couldn't," I replied, my eyes filling up with tears, "I loved him."

"We always went to parties together," I pressed on, realizing I needed to get it all out in the open, "and he always got me drunk. I would get soda, spike it, and I found out later that he would sneak in and double spike it. Then later, when I was right at that point where I wasn't going to throw up but I was barely coherent I was so drunk, he would take me into a room and we would….do stuff."

Murphy shook his head, growling angrily to himself.

"Soon it wasn't even a relationship anymore," I said, "I was his toy. He used me when he wanted to, got rid of me when he was tired of me. He knew I would put up with all of it because I loved him so much. I thought that was as worse as it was going to get, but….it wasn't."

Murphy met my eyes, looking genuinely scared for the next part of my story as he watched the tears roll down my face.

"When he got drunk, because he never got drunk at the parties, just got _me_ drunk," I said, trying to hold back my tears, "he got angry. He would ask me to meet him somewhere and then he'd just yell at me. Call me nasty names, say all the things he knew would hurt me the most. Knew because I had told him all of my deepest secrets. He would…..hit me…too."

I saw Murphy clench and unclench his fists, looking away from me for a moment.

"It was never hard and it never left bruises really," I went on, realizing how insane this all truly sounded, "until one night. He had asked me to come pick him up at his house, because he had just gotten into a fight with his mom. He sounded upset over the phone, so I hurried to go get him so he could have someone to talk to. He got in the car and was completely silent, drinking out of his beer bottle. He told me to pull over when we got to the park. We walked until we were deep in the trees and he started yelling at me. Told me I was," I choked on a sob for a moment, "f-fat and needed to lose some weight because he was tired of looking at me. He told me I was ugly and annoying and that he was only dating me so he could get some good blowjobs every now and then. He started to hit me, and I was too weak and was crying too hard to even stop him. When I was down on the ground he yelled at me that if I told anyone he would kill me before walking off."

There was a silence and Murphy was watching me, looking angry and concerned and scared all mixed into one.

"What happened next?" he whispered after a moment.

"H-Hailey found me," I whispered, "she had been texting me when I t-told her I was going to pick Jake up and I would text her when I got h-home. She knew what he u-usually did when he was drunk and got worried and c-came looking for me. The park's right down the street from her h-house thank God, so she found my car pretty quick."

"Thank God," Murphy mumbled.

"I broke up with him a week later," I said after taking a deep breath, "He told me I didn't want to do that, that I loved him and would never leave him. I told him I couldn't go on like this and got in my car and drove home before he could do anything to me. A week later we graduated, I had my acceptance letter to the University of Massachusetts, and I left. Haven't seen or heard from him since."

A silence filled the air, and I let my silent tears fall. It had been so long since I told that story, so long since I had opened up my heart to anyone like that.

"That's why it scares you to like me?" Murphy asked after a moment, our eyes finally meeting.

I nodded, more tears falling from my eyes.

"Bri, I would never do that to you," Murphy said softly, taking my face in his hands.

"I kn-now" I nodded, cuddling my face into his hands, "I know you wouldn't. You're the best guy I've ever met…"

He leaned in and kissed me again without a word. At first it was sweet and slow, full of caring and reassurance. I let my hands go back into his hair, wanting more than that. I wanted passion and after Murphy registered that, that's exactly what I got. Our rhythm was slow but deep, both of us putting everything we had into it.

After a moment we pulled away, our foreheads pressed together.

"And you're the best girl I've ever met," he said softly.

I laughed softly before leaning in to kiss him once more.

**Author's Note:** Whoo! That was a loooonnngg chapter lol! My favorite though, by far. Let me know what you think of it please :)!


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Ok guys, we're getting back to the action now. Not a big action-y chapter or anything, but it's a build-up chapter. Hope you like it :).

**Chapter 7**

I felt a hand running through my hair, slowly bringing me to consciousness. I opened my eyes, a smiling Murphy sitting next to my bed (the couch) on the floor. I could get used to this.

"You're cute when you sleep," he said, still running a hand through my hair.

"Shut up," I said, laughing and swatting him on the shoulder.

He laughed and I sat up, now looking down on him. He stood up, now towering over me and cupped my face in his hands, giving me a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Good mornin'" he said when he pulled away, giving me a sideways grin.

I smiled, running my fingers through his hair and giving him another quick kiss. I didn't understand this, didn't understand how I could just fall easily into this kind of thing with Murphy. All I knew was that I was enjoying it, and was going to make the most of it before Jake came back to haunt me again. I jumped up, and he laughed, stepping back so I could get through.

"Want some coffee?" I asked, walking over to the coffee machine in the kitchen.

"Yeah sure," he replied, smiling and leaning on the counter.

"Ok you can make it," I said, flashing him a grin, "I have no idea how."

He rolled his eyes with a smile, making his way over to make coffee. I glanced at the clock, startled when I saw the time.

"It's six am!" I exclaimed, turning to look at him, "Why the hell are we up so early?"

"It's Sunday," Murphy said with a shrug, "Church."

I bit my tongue, holding back how much I hate church. I really hated religion in general. It was all my mother's fault really; she forced it on me as a child, and naturally, I rebelled. I loved Connor and Murphy though because even though they wore those rosaries around their necks and had them hanging on the wall, they never forced their belief onto me. I didn't mind at all what they believed in; I just didn't want them forcing it on me, or looking down on me because I didn't feel the same.

Connor stumbled out of the room, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair.

"Hurry up Murph," he said with a yawn, "I finally got Rocco to wake up. It won't be long before he starts complaining about how the floor hurt his back and refuses to drive us."

Murphy laughed, going in to get Rocco out of his room.

**~BDS~**

We got out of the car, the church bells already ringing. Connor and Murphy looked up for a moment, then put out their cigarettes and headed inside.

"We'll be out soon," Connor said.

"Yeah stay outta trouble alright?" Murphy added, pointing at Rocco and me before winking at us with a smile, following his brother inside.

I laughed, Rocco waving him away with a smile. We leaned against the side of the stairs simultaneously and stood in silence for a moment.

"So you and Murphy," Rocco said with a grin, looking over at me.

"Shut up," I said with a laugh, blushing and looking away as I slid down the stair wall to sit.

"You guys are together huh?" He asked, chuckling and turning to face forward again, "I fucking knew it. You guys have been makin' eyes at each other since I fucking brought you here man."

"No we haven't," I argued, though I knew it was true, "maybe _he _was making eyes at _me_, but I didn't look at him."

"Uh huh," he said, a grin still on his face, "Except for when you first saw him and you were looking at him longer than the rest of us. Oh and when he asked you your name and you got all fucking giggly."

"What about him?" I asked, curious now, "What was he doing?"

"Well-" Rocco stopped, squinting at something.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Shh," he said, taking his sunglasses off his head and putting them on, "Stay here I'll be right back."

I watched him walk away, trying to look casual as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. I soon spotted who he was looking for; there was a man stumbling across the street, obviously intoxicated.

I watched Rocco follow him to the other door of the church, and saw them both go inside. I wondered what the big deal was, the guy was drunk and going into church, whatever. Maybe he would bring some excitement to the place.

I figured I'd find out eventually, so I leaned my head against the wall, listening to the sounds of life around me. A car driving by every now and then, murmured conversations of passers-by, a bird tweeting, the sound of the wind rustling the few trees planted on the sidewalks.

I couldn't get Murphy off my mind. He was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me, and it scared me. I felt like he completed me, made me feel like I was the best person in the world. I promised myself I would never do that, never let a man be the one to make me feel whole. I would feel whole on my own, and then be with the guy, another whole. Murphy made me feel like I was a half, and he was another half, and together we made a whole. It was new, and scary, and absolutely wonderful .

I wondered about college. I hadn't been in almost two months now…would they let me come back? I guess I would have to figure that out soon though, not today.

The doors behind me slammed open and I stood up quickly. Connor had stormed out, immediately digging a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

Rocco and Murphy came out afterwards, laughing with Rocco's arm thrown over Rocco's shoulder.

"What happened?" I asked, looking at Rocco, "Why were you following that guy?"

"That wasn't just any guy," he replied, grinning, "That was Special Agent Smecker! He's the guy who's been working to catch these guys!"

"Well shit," I said, my eyes widening, "did he see you guys?"

"Turns out," Murphy said, "he found out who we are and he's on our side."

"How'd you find that out?" I asked.

"Rocco put a gun to the priest's head!" Connor said angrily, speaking for the first time, "Put a gun to the fucking priest's head!"

"What?" Murphy asked, glaring at Rocco, "Roc' what the fuck?"

"I needed him to not talk!" Rocco said, holding up his hands in defense, "I wanted to hear what Smecker was fucking sayin' man. I wasn't going to shoot him or anything!"

"Yeah but still Rocco," Connor said, though he had simmered down, "That was completely unnecessary."

"Well I got good information right?" Rocco asked.

"Yeah," Murphy said with a grin, wacking him on the head playfully, "Guess you did."

**~BDS~**

"Yeah the light hit the side of his face," Connor was saying into the phone, leaning up against the wall, "Had a grey beard, maybe late fifties, early sixties."

Rocco and Murphy were messing around, and I watched, silently laughing as Murphy teased Rocco with a cigarette.

"Yeah and it's better if we find this man before he finds us again," Connor said, "We're gonna hit Papa Joe's tonight, right in the comfort of his own home. We're gonna move on to New York. It's just…it's getting' a bit hot for us here."

"Alright call you tonight afterwards," Connor hung up, glancing at all of us with annoyance.

"Who's Papa Joe?" I asked, looking at Connor, "and why are you going to see him."

"He's the leader of the mafia," Connor replied, "We're goin' to see him so we can kill him."

"I'm going with you," I said firmly.

"No," Connor and Murphy said in unison.

"It's much too dangerous," Murphy said, his face already showing his worry.

"We wouldn't want to be responsible if you got hurt," Connor added.

"I don't care, I'm 18 years old, I can handle myself," I insisted, "I'm going with you guys."

"This isn't like getting permission to go to a party, Bri," Murphy said angrily, "You're going to be in a house with a bunch of killers!"

"I don't care," I replied, "I want to go with. I'm not going to sit in the motel _again_, while you guys go out and fight people and I don't have a clue what's going on or if you guys will even be back."

There was a silence, nothing but the sound of our footsteps as we made our way back to the car.

"Come on you guys," Rocco spoke up, "Let her come with us. She'd probably be useful, we could use her as a distraction maybe dress her up-"

Rocco cut his sentence short at the deadly look on Murphy's face.

"Ok, ok," he said quickly, holding his hands up again, "Look, she deserves a chance. We won't put her in the major plan, we'll just use her as an extra set of hands. Between the three of us, I think she'll be fine."

"Well," Connor began hesitantly, glancing over at Murphy, "It's not a bad idea you know. She deserves it."

We made it to the car, none of us getting in, just looking at Murphy. I was standing next to him and I looked at his face until he looked back at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Come on," I begged, making my best puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

He sighed, angrily yanking the car door open.

"Fine," he snapped, climbing the into the car and slamming the door.

We all exchanged smiles before climbing into the car as well.

**Author's Note: **Whoo! No idea why, but that took me two days to write! I think it's just because yesterday I lost my writing vibe. Anywho, please review. I know this chapter wasn't that exciting, but I still want to hear some feedback. Anybody have any guesses as to what's going to go down next chapter? :) Tell me in a review! Lol!


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **You guys make me so happy haha. I got 4 reviews in one day, seriously, I couldn't believe it! I'm sorry, I should have given you guys a chapter a long time ago. I've been so busy this weekend. Anywho enough talking, here's chapter 8 :)

**Chapter 8**

They all put guns in their pockets, while I nervously bit at my fingernails. We were right outside this guy's house, right in their backyard. Someone could look out the window and see us and we'd be fucked. I was so nervous the only thing I could hear right then was the fast beating of my heart.

"Rocco and I are going to pick the locks over here," Connor whispered, looking between the two of us before walking towards the back basement door.

I knew he was giving us a moment to ourselves before the big break-in. Murphy and I stared at each other for a moment. It was clear Murphy was still not 100% ok with me going, but I wasn't backing out now. I couldn't stand the thought of watching him going in there, not knowing if he was going to come out.

"Ok so," I began, breaking the almost awkward silence, "We break into the house-"

"Go up the basement stairs-" Murphy added.

"Make sure the coast is clear, then split up-"

"You come with me. Then we look around, trying to find anyone we can kill-"

"If you see anyone at all, kill them, they aren't innocent-"

"If you find Yakavetta, shoot him in the head so we make sure he's dead-"

"And don't get caught," we finished together.

I stared at him, my worry mirrored in his own eyes. I wrapped my arms around him, and he pulled me against him for a hug. I broke away, our faces inches from each other.

"If anything happens-" I began.

"Nothing's going to happen," he whispered before leaning in, his lips meeting mine.

This wasn't like our normal cliché kisses, filled with sweetness and comfort. This was passion, pure, raw passion. He was running his hands down my sides and I was running my fingers through his hair. There was a desperation behind it, like this was the last time we were going to be able to do this. Though it scared me to death, the feeling was too thrilling to push away.

We broke apart, both breathing heavily. I giggled and he laughed too.

"Come on," he said softly, "I'm pretty sure Connor has those doors unlocked by now."

I nodded, following after him with my hand in his.

**~BDS~**

I watched in horror, my heart pumping so hard I could barely breathe.

My hands were chained behind my back, attached to a cold metal chair that I was sitting on. Rocco was struggling, blood running down his face, two men on him trying to get him to sit still. Connor and Murphy were flailing on their chairs too, chained and defenseless as the men tried to hold them down. Rocco was chained to his chair too, but he that didn't seem to stop him. I was the only one who wasn't fighting; what was the point? These guys would be able to hold me down in a heartbeat.

A man walked in the room, the man I knew right away was Yakavetta. He was exactly as Rocco had described him. He was holding a gun, trying to yell over the deafening roars from the fighting going on around me.

"Shut up!" he yelled, and the noise died down a little, "Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh."

The room got quieter, and he said something in italian. The only sound left was everyone's heavy breathing, and Yakavetta chuckled as he leaned down in front of Rocco.

"You have some answers for me, no?" he asked.

"Yeah," Rocco panted, "Fuck you."

Yakavetta stood up, and the man holding Rocco held up his arm. Yakavetta held his gun to Rocco's hand.

"Roc! Roc look at me!" Connor yelled, the ruckess from before starting to come back again.

Rocco was flailing and Murphy began to move around again, trying to get out of his chair. Someone was yelling to look at that, and next thing I knew a gun shot was fired. Chaos broke out as both Murphy and Rocco started screaming; Rocco in pain and Murphy in rage.

"Roc! Shit!" Connor yelled when the gunshot had fired, "Roc! You'll be fine! You'll be alright!"

Rocco was delirious, not listening to what Connor was saying at all. Yakavetta stood back and looked at all of us, his eyes stopping at me.

"Who's this?" he asked, a wicked smile on his face, "What's your name pretty?"

I was shaking too hard to answer him, watching him draw nearer as he motioned to one of the men to come too.

"Don't touch her!" Murphy yelled, still desperately trying to break from his chair, "Don't fucking touch her!"

"Oh!" Yakavetta said laughing, looking between the two of us, "So this is your girlfriend eh?"

Someone unchained me from behind, but I only had a millisecond before my arms were being held behind my back with a hard grip. I struggled, but the man laughed at me, pushing me towards the door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled for the first time since we had been captured, "Let me go, please!"

"Let her go!" Connor yelled, looking at me with fear in his eyes.

"She's not working with us!" Murphy yelled, and he was still struggling against his seat as he watched with a terrified face, "Please! Take me instead! Let her go!"

"This is just delightful," Yakavetta said with a chuckle, coming to stand close to me, "I think we'll keep her boys."

He ran a cold hand down the side of my face and I turned quickly away from it. The man holding my arms pushed me forward again, following Yakavetta's lead out the door.

"Stop!" Murphy yelled, and I could here the clatter of his chair moving up and down, "Let her go you motherfucker! Let her fucking go!"

They closed the door behind us, and I looked up from my feet to see a bunch of men surrounding me. I started to shake; what if these men raped me or something? I hadn't even thought about that until now, but now it was all I could think about.

"What should we do wit' her boss?" one of the men asked, looking at me with a grin on his face.

The doorbell rang, and Yakavetta shot a suspicious look towards the front door before turning to one of his men.

"Go see who that is," he said to one of the dark-haired fat men.

He walked away, and Yakavetta went back to staring at me, his hands behind his back as he circled around me slowly. He had that nasty grin on his face again, and soon I went back to staring at my feet, not able to look at him any longer. Three minutes went by, the only sounds being the faint yelling of Connor, Murphy, and Rocco behind the door.

"Go check on him," Yakavetta nodded to one of his other men, before grabbing my arm with an iron grip.

The man nodded and scurried away, and Yakavetta lead me around a corner. A closet was sitting ajar and he threw me in there. I landed hard into a box, my forehead hitting the wooden hangers hanging empty on the rack.

"Sorry pretty," he said, holding the door just enough so I could see his face, "Can't really have you in the way now can I?"

Before I could say anything he slammed the door closed, and I heard the lock click into place. How many times had they used this to lock people up? I shuddered at the thought, trying to calm my breathing. My claustrophobia was kicking in fast, and I held my hand against my chest. For the first time, tears began to roll down my cheeks. I could hear the men talking quietly to themselves, could hear Rocco, Connor, and Murphy, and I lost it.

"Let me out!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, banging against the door with all of my strength, "Get me the fuck out of here, _please_!"

I was desperate, banging as loud as I could on the door. I was going crazy with fear, not sure what was going to happen. Was I going to die? Were they going to keep me locked up in here for days? Were they going to kill Rocco? Connor? _Murphy_?

I screamed again, just a bloodcurdling scream as I banged over and over again on the door.

The door was suddenly thrown open, one of Yakavetta's men staring angrily at me.

"Knock it off!" he yelled.

I stood up, completely silent, trying to catch my breath. He suddenly smiled at me, evil intentions written all over it.

"Come on," he said, grabbing me by the arm, "We're going to give you a little show."

He pulled me back towards the door of the dungeon room. Yakavetta grinned at the man, holding up his gun and throwing open the door. The man pulled me into the room, and Murphy and I instantly locked eyes. I knew he was asking me if I was ok, and I nodded ever so slightly, trying to keep anymore tears from falling.

"God!" Connor yelled, drawing Murphy's and my gaze to Yakavetta, "No!"

Yakavetta walked to Rocco calmly, gun held to his chest. I screamed, Murphy started yelling, all of us realizing what was about to happen.

There was gun shot, and Rocco's chair flew to the ground.

**Author's Note:** This part of the movie gets me everytime :(. Please review.


	10. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **6 reviews, less than 24 hours? I think I'm in love with you guys lol. This chapter is sad. There's no way else to put it. I got let out of school early and had to listen to depressing music for a bit before I could write this.

**Chapter 9**

The rest was a blur.

I remember watching Murphy crash to the floor, trying to get closer to Rocco. Rocco was straining for his voice, telling Murphy they could never stop what they do. Connor wasn't moving just yelling, yelling no at the top of his lungs as he stared horrified at Rocco.

I was in shock. I couldn't move, couldn't talk. All I could do is stare….watch Rocco die right in front of me while I stood in the far corner of the room. I saw Murphy bizarrely start to laugh and knew this had affected him the most; Murphy had always been close with Rocco. He was screaming how he was going to kill them, and Connor was still yelling no, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

Rocco finally closed his eyes, and I looked away. I couldn't see him like that.

There was a silence, and then Murphy somehow got his chair back-up. I watched him, wishing I could say something, _anything_, to make him feel better, but I couldn't get anything out of my mouth. It was like my entire body was on lockdown.

"Break my hand Connor," Murphy said, his voice thick with the tears he hadn't shed.

"What?" Connor asked, looking away from Rocco for the first time to stare incredulously at Murphy.

"Break it," Murphy said firmly, "so I can get out of these fucking handcuffs."

"Why don't you break my hand-?" Connor tried.

"Connor just do it!" Murphy yelled, making me jump.

Connor moved his chair slowly, making his way behind Murphy. He looked weary and I watched in apprehension as Murphy adjusted his hand in the cuff. I wanted to scream no, tell him we could try something else, but again, no words would come out.

"Do it!" Murphy yelled, when Connor hesitated, "Do it!"

Connor finally maneuvered the cuff on his leg off the leg of the chair so he could use his foot. Then he kicked Murphy's hand as hard as he could. Murphy yelled out, muffling himself with his shirt in his mouth. I cried out for the first time, watching his hand break right before my eyes.

No one acknowledged me, but it didn't matter because it was too late. I watched Murphy wiggle his hand out of the cuff, watched him wince in pain but try to hide it.

The men came back into the room and Murphy pounced on them, Connor helping. Soon all four guys were dead and all that was left was Rocco. They lifted his chair back up, pulling something from their pockets. The light hit one of them and I realized they were pennies. They put them on Rocco's eyes and then got on their knees, heads bowed.

"And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord for thee," they prayed in unison.

They had mentioned this to me before, how they always put pennies over their victim's eyes and said their family prayer. They weren't allowed to teach it to anyone else though; it was supposed to stay a family secret.

Suddenly a man came into the room. He had on a black hat, sunglasses, and a cigar hanging from his mouth. I was about to call out when I saw him put his gun away. He walked slowly forward, and Connor and Murphy turned around, guns held up at the man.

"That our feet may swiftly carry out thy commands," the man said, and I watched Connor stare at him in awe.

The man recited the rest of the prayer, then laid a hand on both of their faces. The intensity on Murphy's face never changed, but Connor looked happy. Realization hit me like a slap in the face; this was their _dad_.

We escaped, everyone getting in the car. Murphy sat in the backseat with me, Connor driving with their Dad in the front. Words had been exchanged, and it was confirmed that yes he was their father and he had been let out of jail. Connor did all the talking, while Murphy stayed completely silent. I wanted to reach out, wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be alright. I couldn't though, because he was currently curled as close to the door as possible on his side of the back seat.

We dropped their Dad off, Connor giving him a hug. He turned around to say goodbye to Murphy and me; I gave him a wave and a half-hearted smile, Murphy gave him a stiff nod without eye contact. After staring at Murphy for a moment he sighed, getting out of the car and saying thanks for the ride before shutting the door.

The rest of the ride was silent, and we reached the motel before long. We walked in, Connor immediately mumbling something before heading to the bedroom and shutting the door. Murphy headed to the sofa, sitting down on it and staring off into space. I went to the fridge, pulled out two beers and sat in front of him on the coffee table. I handed him the beer and he nodded a thank you, opening it and taking a long drink.

I looked at his other hand, awkwardly limp in his lap. I went to the kitchen, grabbed the gauze, and came back. He still wouldn't look at me, and it was starting to really get to me.

"Let me see your hand," I said softly.

He lifted it slowly, putting it in my own hand, _still_ not looking at me. I moved each of his fingers gently, trying to find which one of them was the one attached to the broken bone. I learned in my Human anatomy class in high school that you were to straighten that finger out, put a finger splint on it, then wrap the rest of the hand.

He flinched, but said nothing more as I worked. I didn't have a splint so I used two popsicle sticks and scotch tape. Then I wrapped his hand, moving it carefully back into his lap.

"Murphy," I finally said after another moment's silence, "Please, talk to me."

He bowed his head farther down, his hair hanging in his eyes just slightly.

"Look at me," I said, my voice almost begging as I stared at him with pleading eyes, "please."

"I can't," he mumbled, his voice deep and throaty.

"Why?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes for the first time since Rocco died.

"I can't see you like this," he said, finally turning to look at me.

"What?" I asked, trying hard not to lean in and kiss him, not touch him at all.

He reached up, tenderly touching my forehead. I winced, not knowing until then that there was a huge bump there. His hands trailed down my face to my chin, tracing what I assumed was a cut.

"I did this to you," he said, looking away from me again, "You almost got killed. Rocco got killed. It's all my fault."

"No it's not," I replied immediately, cutting him off before he could say anything else.

He didn't even look like he heard what I said, his face blank of all emotion. I gave in, cupping his cheek and making him look at me. His eyes locked with mine, and I leaned in, kissing him gently on the lips.

"It's not your fault Murphy," I whispered, our foreheads pressed together, "I know you're trying to twist it so it you can think it is, but it isn't."

"You don't know that," Murphy whispered back, "I could've stopped those guys, tripped them, anything."

"Murphy," I said, kissing him again to keep him from talking, "it doesn't matter. They had guns. They would've just shot you too. It wouldn't have made any difference."

Murphy nodded, a moment of silence passing between us as we just listened to the sound of each other's breathing.

"You got taken away," Murphy said, cutting through the silence, "I didn't know what they were going to do. I thought- I thought they were going to-"

He cut himself off, taking a deep breath.

"You're never going on a mission with us again, got it?" he demanded, his hand grabbing mine.

I sighed, shaking my head and choosing not to respond to the question.

"I'm _fine_. Just a few cuts and bruises."

He pulled away from me, his eyes scanning my body. I felt a little self-conscious, but let him do his thing. He picked up my arm, looking it up and down for bruises. He traced a bruise shaped like fingers that was on my upper arm. I winced and he kissed it, making me giggle.

He looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back and he bent back down, kissing up from my bruise to my shoulder, then to my neck. I bit my lip, trying not to make any sounds as I let him kiss up my neck. He kissed the edge of my ear and I let out just a slight whimper. He pulled away, grinning at me.

"Interesting," he said, kissing me on the lips, "something to save for later."

"Shut up," I said with a laugh, shoving him.

The moment died and our reality came back to hang over us like a dark storm cloud.

"Don't beat yourself up about this please," I said, looking him in the eyes, "Everything happens for a reason."

Murphy nodded, and I wrapped my arms around him. We hugged like that for a bit before he pulled away gently.

"Let's go check on Connor," he said, standing up from the couch.

I followed him to the bedroom door, hoping that Connor wasn't taking it nearly as bad as Murphy was.

**Author's Note:** Ok. This chapter needed to end abruptly I'm sorry. I couldn't really think of a good ending so I just kind of stopped lol. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it, even if it's really sad. Please review, I might end up writing chapter 10 later tonight lol.


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **Ok I couldn't resist. I'm on an angst/romance/ never going to happen in real life kick today. So I had to write another chapter lol. This one's much happier, promise :)

**Chapter 10**

Two hard weeks went by. There were days when none of us would speak, we would simply walk around the house, empty, moving robots. There were other days when we hid our pain, drinking beer and telling jokes. The longer time went by, the easier it was to deal with our feelings of loss. At the end of the two weeks, we were better than when we started. We could at least function, try to accept it instead of push it away.

"Hey Bri," Connor said, sitting across from me at the table one Saturday, late in the afternoon, "You want to go shopping with me today?"

"Just you?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What?" he asked, feigning hurt, "Can I not hang out with you alone?"

"No, I mean," I laughed, taking a drink of my soda, "I just didn't…I don't know. Yeah sure, I'll go shopping with you."

"Awesome!" he said with a grin, getting up from the table and going to the bedroom.

After a goodbye to a smiling Murphy (I felt like those two were up to something…) I was in the car with Connor. I kept asking him where we were going and he would just laugh, telling me I'd just have to wait and see. Once I gave up on that we started fighting over the radio, playfully switching it back and forth.

"You're like the big brother I never had," I confided, giving him a genuine smile, "Always wanted one. I'm the oldest though, so kind of impossible. I've got 5 younger siblings instead."

"Really, five?" he asked, his eyebrows raised, looking at the road.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I practically raised the youngest two."

"Well," Connor said, glancing at me with a smile, "You're like the little sister I never had. Murphy's like a little brother to me even though we're the same age, but I always wanted a little sister. Never got one."

We pulled into a parking lot, and I smiled when I saw the sign.

"You brought me to an aquarium?" I exclaimed, jumping out of the car as soon as it was parked, "I've never been to one of these!"

He laughed at my reaction, locking the car before leading me in.

We walked around for a while, talking and looking at all the sea creatures. I loved the underwater, so I had a lot of fun. Next he was dragging me to some coffee shop, not letting me pay for a thing. We sat outside at a table with an umbrella, sipping on our coffee and talking.

"You know," Connor began, taking a drink of his coffee, "Murphy really likes you. I've never seen him like this with another girl before."

I grew skeptical, hearing the implications in his voice. He sounded sad, almost regretful, like…it wasn't going to last long or something. I pushed the thought quickly from my head, not letting my over-analytical brain ruin my nice evening out.

"I like him too," I replied, feeling myself blush, "I'm crazy about him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Most girls he dated would get frustrated," Connor went on, "He's got a raging temper, as you know, and shuts down when anything even slightly emotional happens to him."

"Just like me," I added, "I'm not going to get mad at him for that. I do the same thing."

We sat in comfortable silence, watching a woman struggle with her screaming toddler, trying to get him to sit still in his stroller. Meanwhile, her four year old was tugging on her sleeve, asking over and over again if she could get some ice cream.

"So," I began, messing with my cup nervously, "I was just wondering….can Hailey come visit?"

I felt like a child asking permission for something from their parent, and it seemed silly. I knew that it would need to be planned though, and that Connor and Murphy would both have to be ok with it.

"Well…" he said thoughtfully, "I think we can work something out."

I smiled at him, immediately starting to make plans while he listened with an amused smile on his face.

**~BDS~**

"I'll be back later," Connor said, pulling up in front of the motel, "Go on in."

I gave him a questioning look, but said nothing more as I got out of the car. I told him thanks and he smiled at me before driving off, a mischievous look in his eye. I unlocked the door, immediately hit by a wonderful smell.

I closed the door and I heard bustling in the kitchen. Murphy came out, looking disheveled with a red substance on his shirt and face.

"What's up?" I asked when he came up to me, wiping the red substance off his forehead.

"Connor dropped you off early!" he exclaimed.

"Early for what?" I asked, putting my finger in my mouth, tasting tomato sauce "are you _cooking_?"

"Well…I…" he shuffled nervously, his darting eyes around before looking back at me, "I wanted to give you a proper date. We never really established we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and I just wanted to take you out on a proper date. It's not like the real thing I know, wish I coulda' brought you some place nice and-"

I cut him off, pulling him in for a kiss. I put feeling into it, and soon he responded back and we picked up a rhythm. My heart was beating fast; I couldn't believe how sweet he was. It made me melt just thinking he had planned this whole thing just for me.

There was a sudden sizzling coming from the kitchen and he jumped away from me.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, and I followed him back to the kitchen.

It was such a mess. There were empty cans, tomato stains, empty boxes of noodles, water spills, and dirty dishes scattered across the counters and sink. The water from the noodles had over-flowed, causing the sizzle as it hit the hot stove.

I took pity on him, and ignoring his protests, began to help him cook and clean. The meal was ready pretty quick and he brought two plates to the table. I smiled, giving him a long kiss again when I saw the table. It had a table cloth on it, and he had taken two tea-light candles and put them in pretty glasses. He had them lit and turned the lights off, a warm glow now enveloping the room.

"You're too good to me," I said as he sat across from me.

He blushed, looking down at his plate, beginning to eat. We ate in comfortable silence for a moment, just enjoying the food and peace.

"So guess what?" I declared, putting my fork down, a huge grin on my face, "Hailey's coming to visit!"

"Really?" he asked, his face lighting up, "Cool! I've been wanting to meet her."

"I've been _wanting_ you to meet her," I replied with a laugh.

"You know I was just thinking," Murphy said after a moment, "I'm quite a bit older than you."

"Only like…7 years," I argued, counting the years out on my fingers, "That's not so bad."

"That doesn't," Murphy hesitated, "bother you at all?"

"No," I answered, looking at him with confusion, "does it bother you?"

"Not one bit," he replied with a smile.

I smiled back at him and we continued to eat, talking about anything and everything. We ended up playing the favorites game, and I found out a lot about him that I didn't know. Like how he wanted kids more than anything, his favorite color was blue, and he'd never dated a girl for longer than 2 months.

After we cleaned up he told me to sit in the living room for a movie. He came in from the kitchen, VHS tape clutched in his hand and an apologetic look on his face.

"It's not the most romantic of movies," he confessed, glancing at the movie before looking back at me, "but it was either this or the Notebook. Didn't think you wanted to cry."

"What is it?" I asked, watching him move to the TV which had a built in VCR.

"Lord of the Rings," he answered, turning back to look at me, "that ok?"

"I _love_ Lord of the Rings!" I exclaimed, grinning widely.

"Really?" he asked, his face lighting up, "So do I!"

We watched the movie, every once in a while quoting what they were saying. We discussed our first time watching it, and how many times we had gone through the whole series. It was obvious we had both seen it too many times.

We held hands, soon falling silent as the movie began to get more intense. I felt his thumb moving slowly back and forth on the back of my hand and I smiled, leaning in to kiss him spontaneously on the cheek. He turned quickly, grinning at me and kissing me on the lips. We were just starting to get into it- fast rhythm, hands in each other's hair, adjusting our bodies to be closer- when the front door opened.

"I'm covering my eyes!" Connor yelled, walking into the kitchen with his hands over his eyes, "If you're indecent cover up now!"

"Oh shut up!" Murphy yelled, throwing a pillow at Connor with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and began laughing, exchanging a secret look with Murphy before going back into the kitchen.

**Author's Note:** Hope this made up for some of the depressing chapters :). I had so much fun writing this lol, I hope you had fun reading it. Review and I might just write another one tonight :D!


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** Ok guys back to the angst ;) lol. Thank you for all of your reviews by the way, they were greatly appreciated :). Oh and P.S. I'm working on making the Irish accent a little more prominent in my writing. I'm new at it though so if you have any suggestions don't hesitate to give them.

**Chapter 11**

"Murph be reasonable!"

"I _am _bein' reasonable Connor! What the fuck d'ya expect me ta do? Let some man take over my life, _yer_ life? No!"

"He ain't takin' over yer life Murphy, yer bein' a drama queen!"

I stirred on the couch, opening my eyes and sitting up. It was still dark outside, and after glancing at the clock I saw it was only 2 in the morning. What were those two doing up still? And fighting at that?

I stood up, making my way closer to the bedroom door.

"I'm not bein' a drama queen. He was gone fer our whole lives! What're we supposed ta do, act like nothin' happened and start callin' him daddy?"

"You could a'least give him a chance," Connor retorted softly, for the first time not yelling.

There was a silence and I listened outside the door, waiting for Murphy's answer.

"He wants us ta get away," Connor went on when there was no response from Murphy, "Move ta Ireland with 'im."

I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably; that's why Connor had sounded so weird when we had talked at the coffee shop. He knew he and Murphy would have to leave eventually…

"What? Why?" Murphy asked, sounding surprised.

"Ta go inta hiding," Connor replied, "Murphy we can' keep doin' this, we're sure ta get caught."

"No," Murphy said simply, and I could just picture the determined look on his face.

"Murph', ya can' just ignore th' obvious! We have to leave a' some point or-"

"No Connor!" Murphy yelled, "I'm not leavin'!"

There was another moment of silence before I heard Connor mumble something too soft for me to hear. Next thing I knew, Connor had thrown the door open, about to storm out. He spotted me standing there, a deer caught in headlights. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and muttering something about sleeping on the couch before walking past me.

I walked into the room, seeing Murphy sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I closed the door behind me, making my way to the bed. I sat next to him, putting my arm around him. We sat like that for a moment before he sat up, giving me a shy smile, then looking at his hands.

"I hate fightin' wit' him," Murphy said softly, "but he can' jus' expect me ta except Da like that."

"Why are you so against him anyway?" I asked.

"He was gone," Murphy answered, looking me in the eyes, "Gone me 'ole childhood and then jus' shows up outta nowhere. Sayin' our family prayer an' lookin' at us like 'e knows us. He doesn' fuckin' know us a' all."

I nodded, running a hand through his hair and down his face. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't think he really wanted me to say anything anyway. He closed his eyes briefly, opening them back up and giving me a small kiss.

"I'm tired," he sighed, then gave me a sly smile, "Wouldya like ta sleep wit' me?"

I shoved him, feeling my face grow hot with embarrassment as I laughed. He laid on the bed, motioning for me to come join him with a nod of his head. I crawled next to him, hesitantly laying my head on his chest. I felt him chuckle as he draped an arm around me. This was so…._nice_.

"Haven' you ever laid wit' a guy?" he questioned softly, running his fingers up and down my arm.

"No," I admitted, closing my eyes at his touch, "Jake was never a big cuddler. He's the only guy I've ever really been with."

"Didya guys ever," Murphy hesitated, stopping his movements on my arm, "ya know….go all th' way?"

"No," I whispered, "thank God."

I felt Murphy nod, and his hand began moving again. My last conscious thought before falling asleep was how I could do this forever.

The next morning was tense.

The motel was completely silent, Murphy and Connor avoiding each other's eyes as they got their morning coffee.

"Ok," I finally called, "Murphy, Connor, get your asses in here."

They had both been awkwardly sitting in the living room while I poured myself a glass of milk in the kitchen. They exchanged looks of confusion before coming in, sitting down at opposite ends of the table.

"What?" Murphy asked, both of them looking at me expectantly.

"Work it out," I demanded, "This place is quieter than a funeral, and almost as gloomy."

They just kind of looked at each other for an uncomfortable moment before simultaneously taking drinks of their coffees.

I sighed, going to sit in between them at the table.

"Murphy," I began in a condescending tone, "Tell Connor why you're mad."

Murphy glared at me before looking at Connor.

"I don' get why ya want me ta run ta Da wit' open arms," Murphy stated, "I can' just do tha' Conn'."

"I know ya can' Murphy," Connor agreed with a nod, "I jus' wantya ta try ta go inta this wit' an open mind is all."

Murphy looked at him for a second before looking away, obviously frustrated.

"Fine," he sighed, looking at Connor with resolve, "but only 'cause I love ya."

Connor smiled at him, moving to take him in for a noogie. I laughed, happy they had made up.

**~BDS~**

I took the rolls out of the oven, trying to ignore the very obvious air of awkwardness.

We had invited Da over for dinner, giving Murphy a chance to really get into accepting his Dad. It hadn't gone as well as we all had liked, to put it lightly.

Murphy pretty much sank into an I'm-going-to-be-a-child-about-this attitude and as soon as Da had walked through the door, he hadn't spoken a word. Connor and I desperately tried to hide the enveloping tension with conversation starters, but it was too prominent to ignore. Annoyed with our failure and angry with Murphy for being so ridiculous, I went back into the kitchen.

I brought the rolls to the table, glaring at Murphy while Da wasn't looking. He looked away from me, guilt flashing across his features for a moment. We all sat down to eat, Connor trying for some small talk. He asked Da how he was doing, even though he had already asked at least twice. Da answered all of Connor's repetitive questions politely, every now and then glancing at Murphy. Just when I was about to kick Murphy in the nuts from under the table, Da spoke.

"Murphy," he interrupted yet another ridiculous amount of silence, "I know yer no' happy wit' me."

Murphy looked up from his plate, which he had been staring at practically the whole dinner. He didn't respond at all however, just stared at Da.

"I know yer mad 'cause I've been gone," he went on, his eyes never leaving Murphy's, "gone yer whole life. Am I righ'?"

Murphy nodded.

"I feel bad fer it, ya should know," Da continued, his face growing remorseful , "I didn' want tha'. I loved you boys more tha' anythin' in this world. I couldn' come see ya…they wouldn' le' me out."

"Wha' were ya in jail for in the firs' place?" Murphy finally asked, his eyebrows furrowed, "What were ya doin' tha' you couldn've jus' held back, held back 'til we were off an' grown aye?"

"I was gettin' revenge," Dad answered simply, "on the men who killed me _own_ father."

There was a silence, and I glanced over at Murphy. His original face of anger was now relaxing into a guilty look.

"'m so sorry Murphy," Da pleaded softly, "I never wanted ta leave you boys. Would take it all back 'f I could."

Murphy nodded, looking away in shame. I could tell he felt horrible, and I rubbed his knee from under the table. He looked up at me and I gave him a reassuring smile.

Connor broke the tension, telling Da all was forgiven. The rest of the dinner went smoothly enough, and soon I was watching as father and two sons reunited. Murphy was slowly joining in on the conversation, and before long they were laughing and exchanging stories. I cleared everyone's plates, listening and watching with a smile.

It was suggested that we all watch an action movie Connor had gotten from Doc. We all settled in the living room, Murphy and I holding hands on one end of the couch.

"I like 'er by the way," Da muttered to Murphy, elbowing him with a smile and motioning towards me, "she's definitely a keeper."

Murphy thanked him with a smile before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. I blushed, glad to know Connor and Murphy weren't the only MacManus' who accepted me.

**Author's Note:** Angsty chapter, ends on a good note though. Next chapter Hailey comes to visit so stay tuned :D! Again on the Irish accents, find anything wrong or have any suggestions (or compliments! ;) lol) let me know!


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Ok so this chapter is all fun. No angst, at least not the bad kind of angst ;). Enjoy.

**Chapter 12**

_A week later_

"Murphy I know you'll love her," I was babbling on as we swerved around people at the airport, "She's really funny, smart too. She's super friendly, and she'll talk to anyone."

Murphy and Connor were laughing at me, but I didn't care. I hadn't seen Hailey since I left for Boston and I was finally going to see her again.

We made it to gate 24-C and there were people already swarming from the plane into the airport. I practically ran, craning my neck to see over the many heads blocking my view of the doorway. I spotted her right away, adjusting her bag over her shoulder, looking around for me.

"Hailey!" I called, waving my hand in the air.

"Bri!" she yelled, a big smile on her face.

I ran to her, almost knocking her over as I wrapped my arms around her for a hug. I moved her back and forth, squeezing her hard

"Hi Bri," she laughed, hugging me back and patting me on the back.

I let go, smiling at her, then turned around. Murphy and Conner were slowly making their way through the crowd. They looked nervous, not sure whether they should interrupt our reunion or stand back. I reached over and grabbed Murphy by the arm and Connor followed.

"Hailey this is Murphy," I introduced with a smile, "and this is Connor."

"Hi," she smiled politely, shaking their hands.

"Uh here," Connor said suddenly, reaching for Hailey's duffel bag, "Ya wan' help wit' that?"

"Oh," Hailey giggled nervously as Connor took the bag off her shoulder, "Sure. Thank you."

I watched, a slight smile on my face. Hailey never giggled; not unless she liked someone or thought someone was cute. I shook my head, trying to hide my smile.

We made our way through the crowd and Hailey and I fell back a little bit.

"So," I grinned, throwing my arm around her, "you like Connor?"

"What?" she sputtered, unable to hide anything with that huge grin on her face, "No! I just met him!"

"Uh huh," I replied, "isn't he cute?"

"Yeah," Hailey breathed with a laugh, "Yeah, he's pretty sexy."

I laughed, and took my arm off her, running to catch up with them, her following behind me.

**~BDS~**

"An-n-nother one boys?" Doc asked, when we all walked into his bar.

"Nah!" Murphy exclaimed with a laugh, "This is Hailey, she's Bri's friend."

"Well it's nice ta, fuck! ass! meetya," he smiled, shaking Hailey's hand.

Hailey tried not to laugh, shaking his hand. He went to the back, pouring us all shots.

"What are we cheering to?" Hailey asked, looking around at all of us.

"Awesome friends!" I exclaimed, and we clanked our glasses together, simultaneously tossing them to the back of our throats.

We ended up all grabbing a bottle of liquor, carrying it around while we talked and laughed.

"Me and Bri," Hailey began, wrapping her arm around me and practically using me for support, "have done a lot of crazy shit."

"That's for sure," I laughed, taking a swig of my bottle "like senior year winter break when we literally were sober for probably 2 days out of the two weeks."

"I _know_ you guys have done crazy shit," Hailey pointed at the two boys, who had been watching and laughing at us this whole time.

"O' yeah," Connor replied, glancing at Murphy with a grin, "Ya remember the time we wen' sheep herdin'?"

"We ha' never done it befor'!" Murphy exclaimed, taking a drink of his now half-empty bottle, "We wanted ta know wha' it was like!"

They told us a story of them at 11, sneaking into the farm near their house in Ireland. They had gotten sticks and run around, trying to find sheep. The sheep were already in their little fenced area so they let them all out. I slapped my forehead, shaking my head with a laugh. I already knew where this was going.

"We started chasin' em!" Connor continued, laughing as he reminisced, "Tryin' to get them back in there."

"It didn' work," Murphy stated, laughing along with Connor, "th' fuckin' sheep went everywhere an' the farmer ended up comin' ou' and chasin' us wit' a pitchfork."

Hailey and I began cracking up, picturing this old man chasing a young Connor and Murphy with a pitchfork.

The night went on like this for a while, exchanging fun stories and laughing at nothing. Connor and Hailey had been flirting all night, and the drunker they got the more prominent it was. Hailey was very giggly, and kept talking to him specifically. Connor was more nervous, laughing at pretty much everything she said and admiring her from afar. He was too much of a gentleman to try to get any closer to her, just in case she didn't want it. This policy was starting to fade a little bit however, when the bottles of liquor were empty and we were grabbing beers out of the fridge.

We all sat at the bar, Murphy on my left and Hailey on my right with Connor next to her. They were talking to each other, heads close together and a lot of laughing coming from the two of them. Murphy and I exchanged knowing looks and grinned.

"Oh shut up," I heard Hailey mumble, her ears turning bright red.

Connor mumbled something back and she laughed nervously, turning away.

"We'll be back," Murphy announced suddenly, grabbing my hand.

Connor and Hailey and turned to look at us as if they had forgotten we were there. Murphy pulled me around the corner, and I laughed asking him where he was taking me. He didn't answer, and we stumbled around until we made it in the bathroom.

"I jus' wanted a place fer us ta be alone," he admitted once the bathroom door had closed.

I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him sweetly. He kissed me back, and soon the kiss wasn't so sweet anymore. My hands were running lovingly through his hair as he deepened the kiss, his hands moving down my sides. We were getting lost in our drunken passion, not really paying attention to boundaries. Well, at least _I_ wasn't.

"Murphy I won't bite you, promise," I whispered, my hands already under his shirt and on his back, rubbing up and down.

He was still just moving his hands from my neck, down my shoulder, down my sides and back up again. He laughed, smiling as he leaned in to kiss me again.

"I don' wanna do anythin' you don' wan'," he muttered against my lips before kissing me again, "ya tol' me tha' thin' abou' Jake, an' I don' wanna be like 'im."

I pulled him closer to me, kissing him hard on the mouth and taking his face in my hands, making him open his lust-filled eyes to look at me.

"You're _not_ Jake, and you won't ever be like him," I told him, then gave him a sly grin (I think it was the alcohol kicking in), "you can do whatever you want with me."

He laughed, then pulled me in for a fiery kiss. Soon I was up against the wall, his hands now running all over my body. His mouth moved to my neck and I bit my lip to keep from making unnecessarily loud sounds. He moved to my ear again and I whimpered, turning red as soon as the sound came out.

"Knew tha'd come in handy later," he muttered, and I felt him grin against my neck.

I pulled him back up, kissing him again with more passion this time. It had been so long since I felt like this, felt like when I kissed someone the whole world had ceased. Like the only thing in the whole universe was me and the person I was kissing. With Murphy it was different, it was like I was giving my life to him just in a kiss, like I needed him just to breathe. It scared me, but I couldn't walk away from it; it was exhilarating.

"Bri," he breathed against my mouth, his hands already under my shirt and moving up my sides, "we shou' probably stop. I don' wan' ta end up doin' something you'll regre'."

I leaned my head back farther on the wall, getting a better look at Murphy. He was a bit of a mess, his hair all disheveled and his shirt twisted up showing some of his stomach. He was breathing hard and fast and he was looking at me with dilated eyes. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that _I _had done that to him. I kissed him on the neck, moving my way up to his lips again. We eventually stopped for air, our foreheads pressed together.

"You're probably right," I sighed, taking his hands in mine, "We're really drunk right now."

"Aye," Murphy nodded and laughed, "Don' know if tha'd be tha bes' idea."

We had one last long kiss before making our way out of the bathroom. We came around the corner, but the bar was empty.

"Where'd they go?" I asked, looking around.

"Who knows," Murphy replied with a grin, "Probly' goin' ta do wha' you and I were jus' doin'. There's a spare bedroom in tha bar ya know."

I laughed, somehow knowing this might happen. I grabbed Murphy's hand and we made our way to a couch in the corner of the bar in the back. He laid on it, and I was about to make myself comfortable on the floor when he grabbed my hand.

"Ge' up here," he said with a grin.

"Like on top of you?" I asked, eyeing him nervously. I wasn't exactly a small girl, and he was pretty skinny.

"Ya on to' of me," he insisted, pulling me down slowly.

I adjusted myself so that I was lying on my stomach on his stomach. It was nice, but I was holding myself up with my arms on either side of him, trying to keep my weight off of him.

"Bri," he laughed softly, moving my arms so that I was fully laying on him, "Yer no' gonna hur' me, promise."

"I'm not crushing you?" I asked, as he wrapped his arms around me, "If you can't breathe, you can say something. It's fine."

"I can breathe," he muttered, letting his hands run through my hair, "stop tha'. Yer no' heavy a' all."

I just sighed, letting my eyes close as he continued to play with my hair. I could hear the slow rhythm of his heart and it was putting me to sleep.

"I love ya," he whispered, lifting his head to kiss the top of mine, "I've been wantin' to say that fer a long time now. I've never fel' this way abou' anyone else in me life."

"I love you too," I replied, and I was embarrassed by the tears that instantly filled my eyes, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He pulled me closer to him, and that was the last thing that was said before we both drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:** Oh my gosh haha. This chapter….I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not sure it's my best writing. I'm not the best at writing romance, so I'm sorry if I failed miserably at it. Please let me know what you think :)


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the delay lol. Usually I'm updating everyday haha. Anyway, this chapter is more fluff. I hope you aren't sick of it yet lol.

**Chapter 13**

I woke up slowly, and the first thing I noticed was the rise and fall of my head. I realized quickly it was Murphy, his chest moving up and down as he slept. I lifted my head, smiling at his sleeping form. I brushed hair softly away from his eyes, admiring the peaceful look on his face.

Carefully so I wouldn't wake him, I lifted my body off of him and climbed off the couch. He grumbled something under his breath then went back to breathing steadily again. I laughed under my breath before rounding the corner to sit at the bar. It was empty, and I sat on one of the barstools, enjoying the early morning quiet.

There was a shuffling and a quiet click that sounded like a door closing. Hailey came around the corner on the other side of the bar, her hair all over the place and looking tired.

"Rough night?" I asked with a grin as she plopped into the seat next to me.

I expected her to groan and ask me why I let her drink so much. Instead she smiled at me before looking away, her face turning bright red.

"What?" I asked, smiling and spinning my barstool to face me, "Hailey tell me!"

"We uh, we kinda," she laughed, "We totally had sex last night."

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, mentally cringing at how annoying I sounded. This called for it though; they had already slept together!

"Hailey!" I scolded, though there was huge grin on my face, "Jesus, you guys didn't even know each other a full 24 hours!"

"We were drunk!" she protested, turning bright red again, "Seriously, we didn't plan for it to go that way."

"What happened?" I questioned, my voice at a normal decibel again.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "we were kissing and stuff, and then things started going farther and farther. We were so drunk I don't think we realized it was happening until it was happening. Don't get me wrong though…it was fucking great."

I grinned, shoving her while she laughed.

"You know," she remarked, looking at me, "You and Murphy are really cute. I've never seen you with a guy like that."

"He told me he loves me last night," I announced, just the thought bringing happy butterflies to my stomach, "I told him I love him back. I really do."

"I believe it," she agreed with a nod, "He's adorable. He's got that cute face you always seem to like so much."

There was a sound of a door being opened and Hailey froze.

"Oh god," she muttered, attempting to fix her hair. I laughed silently at her as her face yet again turned bright red. Poor Hailey; if she was ever embarrassed or angry you would be able to tell right away.

Connor walked around the corner, stretching tiredly and yawning. He sat down at the bar, glancing at me, then his eyes falling on Hailey. He stared for a moment before looking away, a blush crawling up his cheeks. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't. At first I was just giggling, but as the air grew tenser I burst into laughter.

"Bri!" Hailey exclaimed with a laugh, shoving my arm, "Shut up!"

Just then Murphy came in, looking at all of us in sleepy confusion.

"'S so funny?" he asked, grinning at me as I held my stomach, laughing still.

I couldn't answer him and he looked at the other two for an answer. He did a double-take, looking back and forth between the two before snorting.

"No way!" he exclaimed, busting out laughing.

Hailey began to laugh too, while Connor was smiling embarrassedly.

We left the bar and went to the motel for breakfast. I insisted that Hailey make her breakfast sandwiches she used to make me all the time. We were all leaning against the counter, watching her work. Connor had asked several times if he could help, but she told him no. After giving up he just watched her work. She would look at him and he would smile at her, and she would smile too before looking away. Murphy and I noticed and smiled knowingly at each other.

"This is really good," Connor complimented through a mouthful of sandwich, "Yer a goo' cook."

"Thanks," she replied smiling at him, "They would've been better on English muffins but _somebody_ didn't like them."

"'Ey!" Murphy held up his hands in mock protest, "tha' is _no_' a muffin! 's a piece o' sourdough bread!"

"He's right you know," I added, raising my eyebrows at her teasingly, "That's really all it is."

Hailey just shook her head with a smile, play-glaring at Murphy.

Once we were done eating, Hailey began clearing our plates. Connor jumped up to help, and this time she didn't protest. Murphy and I left the kitchen to sit on the couch in the living room, giving them a little alone time.

"Aye, they hit i' off quick," Murphy commented with a grin, nodding towards the kitchen.

"I know," I replied, my voice full of surprise, "I figured they might. They balance each other out pretty perfectly. I definitely didn't expect it to happen so _fast_ though."

"Eryone 'as their own way a doin' things I guess," Murphy consented, absently playing with my fingers.

I looked down at our intertwined hands, listening to Connor and Hailey's mumbled talk and laughs. Murphy leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, and I chuckled before pulling his face down so his lips meant mine.

"So last night," I began softly, running a hand through his hair as I looked into his eyes, "You said…you said that you loved me. Was that you or the alcohol talking?"

"I' was definitely me," he answered, rubbing his hand up and down my arm, "Do ya-? Well las' nigh' ya said-"

"Yes," I whispered, giving him a small kiss on the lips, "I love you."

"Really?" he asked, sounding happily surprised, "God Bri, I love ya too. 'm sorry I 'ad ta tell ya while I was drunk an' all. Wish it coulda been a bi' more romantic-"

"I thought it was cute," I cut him off with a smile, "I don't do well with romantic anyways. It gets on my nerves."

He laughed at that, cupping my face before pulling me in for another kiss. I deepened the kiss, my fingers sifting through the soft and dark pieces of his hair.

Connor and Hailey's voices were coming closer and we pulled apart with a sigh.

"Really?" Connor asked as they walked into the living room, "I love Clin' Eas'wood movies! There some o' me favorites!"

"Westerns are the best, for real," Hailey agreed, plopping down on the couch next to Murphy and me.

"I 'ave one right here," Connor said, turning around from the TV and holding a VHS tape, "Ya wanna watch it?"

We all nodded, Hailey the most enthusiastic of all. We all squished on the couch, and I was scrunched in between Murphy and Hailey, I leaned my head on Murphy's shoulder, taking the scent of him in. He always smelled musky, but in a good way, like cigarettes and a warm, calming _Murphy_ type scent. His fingers were absentmindedly playing with strands of my hair as he watched the movie. I glanced over at Connor and Hailey. They were sitting close, but nothing else.

Suddenly, Connor hesitantly looked at Hailey's hand sitting on her lap. He tentatively lifted it, placing it in his own hand. She looked away from the screen at him in surprise, then smiled a shy smile. She blushed and turned back to the TV screen, her fingers intertwining with his.

**~BDS~**

"Seats F through G now boarding flight to ."

I looked at Hailey, who was clutching her ticket in her hand. Connor, ignoring Hailey's protests, was carrying her bag for her.

She looked down at her ticket, then looked at all of us with a sigh.

"That's me."

Murphy went to her first, pulling her in for a friendly hug. She laughed patting him on the back.

"Bye Murphy," she smiled after they broke away, "I'll miss you buddy. Be nice to Bri."

"Always am," he replied with a wink, "Bye Hailey. I' was good ta meet ya."

"You too."

I came next, smiling at her before hugging her hard. I let go, pulling away and looking at her for a second.

"I'll come visit you," I promised, "and talk to your mom about moving out here, or going to college here or something."

"I will," insisted, "Don't worry. She might go for it."

"You better call me as soon as your ass lands," I added, pulling her in for another hug, "I loves you."

"Loves you too," she answered with a laugh, "I'll call you."

I walked a little bit away, making room for Connor. They stood there, just looking at each other for a minute. He handed her the bag, draping it over her shoulder while she muttered a thanks with a smile.

They exchanged a few words I couldn't hear, both of them looking embarrassed but sincere. He hesitated at first, then leaned in and kissed her. It was a long one, and they broke away slowly, both smiling. She handed him a piece of paper, saying something else to him before walking away. He unwrapped the paper, looked at it and smiled, folding it back up and stuffing it in his back pocket.

He came to join Murphy and me, and we all three waved goodbye to her. She waved back until she was out of sight.

"'as I movin' too fast?" he asked me, looking worried, "I wasn' gonna kiss 'er a' firs'…"

"No," I reassured him with a smile, "I promise. Hailey doesn't like guessing games, she likes guys that just tell her what they want."

He nodded, looking comforted. Murphy and I exchanged smiled before we all headed out of the airport.

**Author's Note:** It's kind of sad seeing Hailey leave :/. Anywho, please review (ok didn't mean for that to rhyme haha).

P.S. I don't know if anyone reading this story is into this, and if you're not then just ignore this and I'm sorry. I was thinking about writing a slash story. I don't know if I'd want to use Connor and Murphy or Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery. Anyway, wondering if any of you guys would read it and if you would, would you want C/M or NM/SPF? Let me know!


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** I'm so excited about this chapter haha. I've had this whole thing written out in outline format for weeks now, and it's always so exciting when I get to good parts lol. Anyway haha, this chapter has a mix of romance and angst, so hopefully some of you angst lovers won't be suffering from withdraw or anything lol.

**Chapter 14**

_**2 weeks later**_

_Dear Hailey, _

_Well, this is the first letter I've written in a long time, so bear with me. I'm not going to lie, I already miss you. Does that freak you out? I hope not. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but there's just something about you that I can't get over. I don't know if it's your pretty green eyes or the way your hand seems to fit perfectly in mine, or if it's the way you can make me happy just being in my presence. It's funny; I literally started writing this as soon as we got back from the airport. _

_This whole thing seems silly, how much time did we really spend together? Three days? How could I possibly know that I like you that much already? How can I possibly be missing you to the point where it actually physically hurts? It was only three days. It's just those three days are the happiest I've been in a long time. _

_Anyway, I'm done with the sappy stuff. You don't strike me as the type of girl who would want to sit around and read this all day. Just know that I miss you and can't wait to get a letter back from you. _

_Yours,_

_Connor_

_P.S. Have you seen The Outlaw Josey Wales? I loved it! _

**~BDS~**

"You can tell me ya know," Murphy coaxed, "I promise I won' tell 'nyone."

I was lying on the couch, choosing to be nosy and listen in. It was early morning and they thought I was still sleeping. I knew what was coming, I was just waiting for it.

"Aw Murph'," Connor replied, obviously embarrassed, "Ya don' wanna listen ta tha'."

"Ya listened ta me when I talked 'bou Bri," Murphy reasoned, "Come on Conn', tell me."

Connor sighed, and I heard the sound of him dropping into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. I assumed Murphy was already sitting.

"She's jus'…" Connor seemed to be searching for the write words, "amazin' ya know? I can' ge' over how stupi' I feel. I on'y talked to 'er fer three days an' I can' ge' her off me mind."

I heard Murphy chuckling softly.

"Ya said ya wanted ta know!" Connor protested.

"I'm no' laughin' at ya," Murphy quickly explained, "I jus' know exac'ly 'ow ya feel. The secon' I saw Bri….I though' I was so weird. Noticin' everythin' I love abou' her in an instan'."

I smiled, a giddy feeling bubbling in my chest.

"I thin' I took advan'age o' 'er Murph," Connor admitted guiltily, "We, we uh-"

"I know Conn'," Murphy cut him off with a slight laugh, "'twas pretty obvious. I don' thin' ya too' advan'age o' 'er though."

"We were drun'," he continued, "I shoulda stopped 'er, tol' 'er we would do i' when she was rea'y."

"May'e she liked i' the way i' happened," Murphy said nonchalantly, "Doncha thin' she woulda been a bi' more bidder to ya if she fel' like ya too' advan'age?"

"I guess," Connor consented with a sigh, "I jus' don' know if she feels the same way 'bou me."

"I know she does," Murphy assured him, "Jus' the way she looks a'cha."

"I wro' 'er a ledder," Connor added sheepishly, "Jus'waitin' on an answer from 'er."

"Ya did?" Murphy sounded surprised, a slight tease to his voice, "T'was _awfully_ roman'ic o' ya Connor."

"Shu' up!" Connor exclaimed.

"I's cute, i's cute!" Murphy defended, and I could just picture him dodging a swing from Connor.

I sat up, stretching and yawning loudly for a nice effect. I made a mental note to text Hailey later; confirming that yes, Connor _did_ like her just as much as she liked him.

**~BDS~**

I lifted the lid off the pot on the stove, waving some of the steam away so I could see if the noodles were done. I felt a pair of arms creep around my waist, and yelped in surprise, almost dropping the lid.

"Murphy," I breathed, setting the lid down and leaning into him a bit, "Jesus, warn me next time. You scared the crap out of me."

He laughed, kissing the back of my head. We had invited Da over for dinner after he told us he had something important to talk to us about. I was cooking dinner, since no one else even knew how the stove worked, let alone how to cook a meal.

"Is i' almos' ready?" he asked, setting his chin on my shoulder as I stirred.

"Yes," I replied, putting the lid on the pot and turning to face him, "Where's Connor and Da?"

"Talkin' abou' some movie," he answered, rolling his eyes, "Connor an' his damn movies. Now I know who 'e gets i' from."

I laughed, snuggling into him for a moment. He laid his cheek on the top of my head, his hands clasped together and resting on the small of my back.

"So I heard what you said about me the other night," I admitted with a grin, playing with the collar of his shirt absentmindedly.

"Nah!" he exclaimed softly, a smile on his face, "No' you! Ya' woul' ne'er do some'in nosy like tha'!"

"Shut up," I muttered with a grin, shoving his arm, "I was just saying…it was really sweet."

"Well i's true," he shrugged, running a hand through my hair, "I've ne'er fel' this way before. I's the crazies' thin' I've ever fel' in me life."

"Same here," I agreed, reaching up to kiss him in the lips, "and for the record, I noticed everything I love about you the first time I saw you too."

"Like wha'?" he asked, kissing me again and then pulling away, our noses still touching.

"Your hair," I replied softly, running my fingers through it, "Your eyes, your smile, your face in general. The way you laughed and the way you were so playful."

"I no'iced righ' away yer passion," he grinned, "then yer eyes, yer nose, yer mouth. Yer hair and the way ya blushed ev'rytime ya woul' look a' me. Yer smile, yer laugh, yer….everythin'."

I blushed, trying to hide it by leaning in closer for a kiss. He smiled, knowing what I was up to, before responding. There was a _plunk_ and _hiss_ behind me, and I broke the kiss off with a gasp.

"Son of a-" I cut off, lifting the hot lid hurriedly off the pot so it wouldn't boil over.

"Hey guys!" Murphy called with a laugh as I cursed under my breath, looking for the strainer, "I think dinner's ready!"

I tried to hit him and he laughed, dodging out of the way before heading to the table.

Twenty minutes later we were all settled and eating, a comfortable silence in conversation.

"So wha' was i' you were wantin' ta talk abou' Da?" Connor asked, looking over at him.

"Well," Da looked uneasy, setting his fork down and looking at all of us, "Ya see…I hope ya realize we can' stay 'ere. We're gonna 'ave to leave eventually."

"Wha' do ya mean?" Murphy asked, his eyebrows furrowed, "Where 're we gonna go?"

"Irelan' o' course," Da replied, looking surprised Murphy hadn't known.

"I tol' ya tha' Murph," Connor added softly, looking sympathetically at him.

"Bu' I-" he looked at me for a moment, his eyes wide, "I can' jus'….jus' leave. Wha' abou'-?"

"Bri can come too if she'd like," Da read Murphy's mind, turning to look at me with a smile.

"Of course," I nodded at once, smiling at the idea. _Ireland_! I had never been, but always wanted to go.

"Tha's a grea' idea," Connor agreed, grinning. Da agreed and we began to plan.

Murphy didn't say a word the rest of the night.

**~BDS~**

_Dear Connor,_

_This is the first letter I've written ever, so you've got me beat. I already miss you too, fuck it, I'll say it. This whole you and I having a connection thing is so crazy to me. All the other guys I dated….they're nothing compared to this. You're really amazing Connor….and hold onto that because I'm not the type of person that will go on and on about this stuff lol (can you write that in a letter?)_

_The minute I got home, I realized I didn't have your address and so I'd have to wait until you wrote to me. That was scary, not gonna lie. I kept thinking you wouldn't write to me….after all we _did_ sleep together the first night we met. For all I knew, we could've just been a one night stand. Obviously not though, thank God. _

_I don't really know where these crazy feelings are coming from either. It might've been the way you got really nervous the very first time you talked to me. That was pretty cute. Or maybe it was that smile- you've got one of those smiles that lights up your whole face I hope you know. _

_You're right, I'm really not good with the sappy stuff, but don't take it too personally. I'll never admit it, but you literally almost made me cry with that letter. That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever written/done for me. I hope you write back soon. _

_Hailey_

_P.S. Yes I did! I loved it too! Not a western, but I know you're into action movies: ever seen the A-team?_

**Author's Note: **Aww hehe. These letters are cute, I like writing them. Anywho, review please! Oh and just to give you guys a heads up there's only about 3 more chapter left of this story….:/


	16. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **Ok guys, this chapter's a big one haha. I'm REALLY nervous about it, not going to lie. I'm not sure if my writing is that great. This chapter definitely earns this story's M rating.

**Chapter 15**

_Dear Hailey, _

_I will definitely hold on to that compliment. I just want to say, I would never, ever think of you as a one night stand. We were drunk…but I don't exactly regret what we did. It was amazing...just a little faster than most people do it lol (yes you can put that in letters)._

_So it's actually official, we're going to Ireland. I remember when I first came to Boston, and I was homesick for so long. I would literally not be able to sleep at night. But now that we're leaving….I don't really want to. I'll be even farther away from you, and I've gotten used to the American life. _

_Da says it's necessary though, says that we'll surely get caught and that we need to run away now before it's too late. We're planning to leave soon...not sure on a date yet, but within the month. Don't worry though; I'll always be a letter away. _

_Bri is insisting on coming with us and Da was fine with it. I am too, but I don't know how it'll work out…plus I know she'll miss you like crazy. I can tell you guys are about as close as Murph and I are. It was really cute, when we were on our way to pick you up, she was bouncing off the walls. _

_Anyway, I guess I'll end the letter here. I can't wait to hear back from you. _

_Yours,_

_Connor_

_P.S. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm planning on it soon. Any good books for me to read?_

**~BDS~**

"Would you knock it off?" I asked angrily, glaring at Murphy.

"No' til ya listen ta me!" Murphy replied, sounding frustrated.

I was moving around the motel, straightening random things and picking up, trying to get him off my back. He was following me around, insisting on arguing with me.

"Nothing you can say or do will change my mind," I stated, throwing a pillow onto the couch.

"Yer no' goin' Bri," Murphy said firmly, "Ya can'."

"Yes I am!" I exclaimed, my voice now raised in frustration.

"No yer no'!" Murphy yelled back, "I can' let ya."

"Why the hell not?" I asked, finally facing him and stopping my cleaning.

"Ya can' throw yer life away fer me Bri," Murphy's voice was softer now, looking at me with sad eyes, "I won' letchya leave everythin' ya've known so you can be wi' me."

"Don't you think that's my choice?" I argued, "I'm not throwing my life away."

"Yeah ya are," Murphy reasoned, walking closer to me now, "Wha' abou' college? Yer friends an' family? This country is all ya've eve' known."

"I can go to college there," I responded stubbornly, actually crossing my arms, "I'll come visit my friends and family. And I can adapt to another countries lifestyle."

"Bri…" Murphy took my hands in his, his eyes locking onto mine, "Come o'…Ya know ya can' do this."

My eyes filled with moisture before he had even finished the sentence. Of _course_ I knew. Of course I knew I couldn't drop everything and just leave for Ireland. I just didn't want to admit it. The tears overflowed and cascaded down my face, and I looked down at our hands. Murphy wiped the tears from my face, leaning in to give me a soft kiss.

"Don' cry," he pleaded, pressing his forehead against mine, "I hate ta see i'. Ya know I don' wanna leave."

I nodded, not really able to say much at the moment. The tears kept coming and I just let them fall, my eyes closing to try to press them out faster.

"If I coul', I'd stay here in this motel ferever," he continued, his hand moving up and down my arm in a comforting gesture, "We'd jus' stay here tagether."

"How long do we have?" I asked, finally opening my eyes and tilting my head up to look at him.

"I don' know," he answered sadly, brushing my hair out of my face, "Let's just make the most of the time we have."

**~BDS~**

_Dear Connor, _

_As soon as I got your letter, I knew I wasn't a one night stand. You were so nice, so sincere. And just the fact that you wrote the letter is enough to tell me that really. _

_You guys are going to Ireland….I'm jealous. I can't believe how far away you'll be. How will I ever see you again? I guess we'll figure that out when the time comes. _

_Bri wants to go with you? Sounds like her. I hope you guys don't let her go. She's going to throw everything away for Murphy. I love her, obviously. We _are_ as close as you and Murphy. But she can't just run away to Ireland… She's going to be a wreck when you guys leave, I can tell you that. _

_You better write to me as soon as you get there, or when you leave, or whenever. I'll be waiting for it. _

_Hailey_

_P.S. It depends, what kind of books are you into? _

**~BDS~**

Murphy handed me the bottle of Captain Morgan, and I took a long swig.

We were sitting on the bed, each propped up on pillows and sharing a bottle. Connor had said he was going to Doc's for the night, giving us some alone time. I had finally stopped crying, and I was feeling numb now. After my cry, there was a long silence. We simply sat together, holding hands and nothing else. I think that's why Connor left; the tension was suffocating.

Murphy had silently broken out the captain and then there we were, sitting on the bed without a word between us, sharing a bottle of liquor.

"We can't just sit here all night," I finally sighed, glancing over at Murphy. He had been staring off into space, and blinked a couple time before looking at me.

"Wha' do ya wanna do?" he asked.

I stared at him for a moment. God, I was going to miss this. His dark hair, his blue eyes, just his face in general. The way he looked at me….it was like I was the only one he could see in a crowded room. It was the best feeling, being looked at like that.

I leaned in, kissing him hard on the lips. No way was I going to waste this night in silence; waste one night of few that we had left together. His hands flew to my hips, pulling me on top of him and picking up our by now mastered rhythm. Once we were moving, the liquor was really starting to kick in. Neither of us was drunk, but we both had a buzz.

I sat on his lap, and my hands ran through his hair. I curiously pulled on it, just a little bit. His breath hitched and I grinned in satisfaction. I figured he'd like that.

"How'd ya know?" he breathed, breaking the kiss off.

"I just guessed," I grinned wickedly, "What else should I know?"

"'m no' tellin' ya tha'," he replied, kissing across my jaw.

I closed my eyes, letting his mouth move down my jaw to my neck. I tilted my head back, a hum of approval vibrating in my throat as my eyes slipped closed. He chuckled softly, moving back up and giving me a deep kiss. He pulled back, just looking at me.

"Yer so beautiful," he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

I blushed, looking away from him, moving my hands up his arms.

"So are you," I replied, smiling at him before sliding my hands up his arms and grabbing his shoulders, leaning down for another kiss.

I moved to his neck, and he moved his head to the side, giving me better access. I was tempted to give him a mark, but thought better of it. We'd never hear the end of it from Connor. I kissed him on the lips quickly before pulling back. He just looked at me, silently asking me what I was doing. I didn't really know….I had never really been this intimate with a guy before. With Jake…it was just physical. This was different; it was emotional, though I could definitely feel the physical parts of it too.

I ran my hands up his arms, then to his shoulders. I reveled in how _nice_ they were. He was just watching me the whole time, as I explored his body. My hands moved down his chest, then down to his stomach. Just when I was at the top of his jeans I slowly slipped my hands back up.

"Bri," Murphy groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall and his eyes slip close, "Yer killin' me…"

I laughed softly, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. Then I leaned in closer to whisper in his ear.

"What can I do?" I breathed in his ear in spite of myself. Alcohol did wonders for your bravery, that was for sure.

Murphy's eyes opened and he stared at me in shock, his eyes dark with lust. He suddenly flipped us over and crawled on top of me, his mouth attaching itself to mine. He didn't stay long though, moving down my face and nibbling on my ear. I moaned, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him closer.

"Ya like tha' huh?" he whispered, "Wha' shou' I know abou' _you_ Bri?"

"I'm not telling you either," I gasped as he bit on my neck, "Jesus, Murph'."

"Biting," he said curiously, "Hmm…you like dirty talk?"

Oh no.

I tried not to give myself away, keeping my eyes closed and my mouth the same.

"Do ya wanna know wha' I wanna do to ya righ' now?" he whispered slyly, and I bit my lip, "I don' thin' ya do."

"Yes I do," I whined without thinking, and I heard him laugh to himself.

"I wanna take all yer clothes off," he went on, sliding his hands down my body and stopping at the bottom of my shirt, "an' I wanna show ya how much I love ya."

"Do it," I whispered.

He pulled my shirt off quickly. I didn't care about my insecurities anymore; I was too far gone for that. I pulled his shirt off of him too, pulling him down so his body was flush against mine. We both moaned together, kissing passionately. My body was on fire, and all I could think about was how much closer I wanted Murphy to me. I knew that the farthest we would go would be everything but sex. No matter how delicious those words about "showing me how much he loved me" sounded, he was never trying to imply that we would have actual sex. Right now, that was all I wanted.

"Murphy," I breathed, and he pressed his forehead against mine, "Murphy, let's do it. Let's just get it over with..."

He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Wha'?" he panted, sounding shocked, "Bri….are ya sure? Tha's kinda fas'…an' I know ya've never done i' befer…"

"I'm sure," I smiled, kissing him gently on the lips, "You're too sweet."

"Bri…" his eyes were dark, I knew he wanted it. But he was hesitant; he knew this was a big deal for me.

"I promise, I'll tell you if I want you to stop," I assured him, then I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer, "Now _please_."

That did him in, and he quickly moved his hands to my pants. Soon we were naked, and for the first time all night, I was starting to feel nervous. He pulled a condom out of the bedside drawer, muttering something about how Connor was always prepared. He crawled up my body, kissing my lips and pulling away to look into my eyes. He was so gorgeous right now; flushed face, messy hair, dark and lustful eyes…

"Ok," he whispered, "'re ya ready?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. He looked at me a second more before adjusting himself on top of me.

I gasped; it hurt, bad. I closed my eyes and bit my lip hard. He moved into me slowly, then glanced up to look at my face.

"You ok?" he breathed, obviously wanting to keep going, but not daring to go farther without my consent.

I nodded again, giving him the ok to keep going. Soon he was all the way in, not moving at all. The pain was starting to subside, and I could feel it, that feeling that everyone had been talking about; that _omg yes_ feeling.

"Move," I gasped, opening my eyes to look at him.

He was a mess, gripping the sheets to keep himself still, his eyes closed in concentration. Once he heard me, he immedietly started to move, though very slowly.

Oh God, but this was _amazing_. I gripped his shoulders, starting to get more comfortable with it. He was moving a little faster now and I couldn't help the moans that were slipping from my lips.

"Bri," Murphy groaned, his breathing starting to get heavier, "Go'…"

"God this is good," I moaned, pulling him closer.

He kissed me, passion like I'd never felt before behind it. His movements were getting longer and harder and I could feel myself already getting close to the edge.

"Murphy oh my god," I whispered breathlessly, "Shit Murphy, I'm not gonna last…"

"Me either," Murphy groaned, and I felt his movements getting sloppier as he neared the edge.

The wave I had been holding back cascaded over me. I closed my eyes and moaned Murphy's name out loud, arching my back. My eyes were squeezed shut as I came, bright lights seeming to flash behind my eyelids. I could hear Murphy groaning in my ear, and I felt chills run down my spine. His body fell limp against me and I reveled in the warmth of it. We just laid there, trying to get our breathing under control and steady our fast-beating hearts.

He eventually rolled off of me, but quickly pulled me back on top of him. I laid my head on his chest, my eyes starting to slip closed. He pulled a blanket around us both, and kissed me on the head.

"I love you Murphy," I whispered, lifting my head to kiss him on the lips.

"Love ya too, Bri," Murphy replied, his eyes slipping closed as I laid my head on his chest again, falling asleep.

**Author's Note:** Well….haha. I hope you guys liked it…Was the sex scene alright? I'm pretty amateur at those still haha. Please review :)


	17. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** This is the second to last chapter guys. It's been fun, I love it so much. I forgot how much I love writing fanfiction, I haven't done it in so long. I want to announce now that there WILL be a sequel :)! I hope you guys are as excited as I am.

**Chapter 16**

_Dear Hailey, _

_ Don't worry, Murphy isn't letting Bri come with us. You should have seen the two of them…it was as if someone had died. I walked in after going out for some smokes, and they were just sitting there on the couch. You could tell Bri had been crying like a baby and Murphy looked as if he had just lost his puppy. They were holding hands, completely silent. I dealt with it for a while, but I ended up leaving to spend the night at Doc's. They needed some time alone. _

_ I wish you could come with me. I wish you were here right now. I miss you so much, and I don't know what to do with myself. Every time I think about leaving, I'm thinking about how I'd much rather be traveling to see you. I want to hold you again, I want to hug you, and kiss you, and talk to you. Hear the sound of your voice and the warmth of your skin. _

_ I know I sound ridiculous, but you're all I can think about. I want to run away with you, run away from the law and the danger and just be with you. I want to run my fingers through your hair and kiss you. I want to hold you in my arms and whisper in your ear how much I care about you. _

_ I want you right now, Hailey. And I know you aren't good with the mushy gushy stuff, but the mushy gushy stuff is all I'm feeling right now. Please write to me soon. _

_Yours,_

_Connor_

_P.S. I think I might be in love with you…_

**~BDS~ **

**(P.S. If you listen to "Dumbledore's farewell" by Nicholas Hooper on repeat while reading this part, you'll feel it so much more.)**

It's been 4 days, 7 hours, and 48 minutes since Murphy left.

I've put food in my mouth, but I can't taste it. I've closed my eyes to sleep, but I don't dream. I've drank water, but I can't feel it moving down my throat.

I'm nothing but numb right now.

_"Please don't leave," I begged, wrapping my arms around Murphy's neck. "Please, I'll do anything." _

_ "Bri, I have to," Murphy pleaded, his eyes sad pits of remorse, "Ya know I have to. I would stay righ' 'ere wit' ya, ya know tha'" _

_ I buried my face in his neck, the tears relentlessly pouring out of my eyes. I was actually sobbing; I was shaking and breathing heavily and getting a bit delirious. I felt his hand rub up and down my back, his cheek resting on my head. _

_ "I don' wanna leave," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion, "I wan' ta stay wit' ya ferever." _

_ "I don't want you to leave either," I moaned, pulling him tighter to me as I tried to get myself under control. _

_ He gripped me tighter back, and I finally looked up at him. His eyes were filled with pain, and we stared into each other's eyes for moment before sharing a long kiss. The way his lips felt against mine was perfect; like we were made for each other. His hands were moving up and down my sides and tears were still pouring from my eyes. We kissed for what seemed like days, and forgot about everything around us. We forgot about the men loading the luggage on the boat, we forgot about Connor and Da who were watching from afar, we forgot that this was going to be our last kiss for a long time. _

_ "Ready for passengers!" a man yelled from somewhere on the boat. _

_ There were sounds of shuffling and chatter all around us. We cut the kiss off, looking around at the many people now headed our way to get on the boat. My heart ached, my stomach clenched, my hands shook. He was leaving; he was actually leaving. _

_ "Come o' Murph'," Connor said softly, putting his hand on Murphy's shoulder, "Da's alrea'y on." _

_ We looked at each other for a long moment. There were so many things that both of us wanted to say, but neither of us could voice them. I loosened my grip on his shirt, my hands sliding around his shoulders and down his chest. I left them there, looking up at him as another round of tears surfaced on the rims of my eyes. He brushed my hair behind my ears, rubbing his thumbs on my cheeks to catch the tears falling down my face. _

_ "I love ya," he said softly, looking on the verge of tears._

_ "I love you too," I choked out, swallowing hard to keep myself from sobbing uncontrollably._

_ "I'll call ya a' soon as I ge' there," he added. _

_ I nodded. We stayed there, neither wanting to end the contact that we had. _

_ "Sir, we need you guys to get on the boat," one of the luggage men said, looking at Connor and Murphy, "We're ready to leave." _

_ Connor nodded, looking between Murphy and I. _

_ "Le's go," Connor all but whispered, "Bri, I love ya li' lil' a sister. I'll ge' in touch wit' ya as soon as I can. Be careful." _

_ All I could do was nod as I finally broke away from Murphy. He grabbed my hand, and I looked up at him, knowing this was the last time I would see him. Connor grabbed Murphy's arm, gently dragging him forward. He held onto my hand until our arms were too far away. His fingers slipped through mine, and he gave me one last longing look before turning towards the boat. _

I wiped away my tears, hearing my cell phone ring. It was buried somewhere in the stupid couch, and I angrily got up, throwing cushions everywhere. It came flying out and I grabbed it off the floor, pressing talk before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?" I answered hurriedly.

"Bri," the person breathed on the other line.

"Murphy!" I exclaimed, collapsing into the sofa, "Murphy, oh my God."

"I've missed ya," he sounded so happy, "How've ya been? Are ya ok? Didya fin' out abou' yer college?"

"I'm fine," I lied, a huge smile on my face at the sound of his voice, "I called them, they told me that I can still come in, I just have to understand that I'm going to be very far behind, and I still have to pay for the days that I missed. Which was about () days worth."

"Than' Go' they still letya go," Murphy replied in relief.

"How was the boat?" I asked him.

"I' was fuckin' gross," he answered, and I could just picture him wrinkling his nose in disgust, "There were pigs on the boa' wit' us an' mos' o' the men there were tryin' to ge' some action outta me an' Connor if ya know wha' I mean."

"Ew," I giggled, "That's just nasty."

He laughed and we sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"I miss ya so much Bri," Murphy admitted softly, "I don' know how 'm gonna make i' wit'out ya."

"I miss you too," I whispered, "I don't know how I'm gonna make it either. I….I haven't been doing well."

"Don' star' drinkin'," Murphy said firmly, "Ya know tha's nothin' bu' bad."

"I know, I'm not," I insisted, "I just miss you and it's….hard to cope is all."

There was another silence, this one filled with sadness and words best left unsaid.

I heard someone talking in the background.

"'re ya serious?" Murphy asked angrily, "I jus' fuckin' go' on the phone!"

There was another voice talking, their low murmur sounding frustrated. Murphy sighed heavily.

"I 'ave ta go," he groaned.

"Ok," I nodded, my heart starting to sink again, "When will I hear from you again?"

"'m gonna write ya a ledder 's soon 's I can," Murphy promised, "I love ya Bri, I love ya so much. Don' forge' that."

"I love you too," I answered, "Don't _you_ forget that."

We said our goodbyes, and I stayed on the line until I knew for sure he was gone. I looked down at the blinking "call ended" on my phone screen, tears rushing to my eyes again. I laid my head on the pillow of the sofa, preparing myself for another long night.

**~BDS~**

_Dear Connor,_

_ If you show this to anybody, I'll kill you, but I miss you too. _

_ I miss cuddling in your arms, and kissing you. I miss holding your hand and talking to you about all the things I love. I miss flirting and teasing and cooking for you. I want to kiss you again and I want you to hold me again. I just want my arms to be around you again. _

_ I feel weird writing this down. I don't do this. Ever. _

_ I can't help it though. There's something about you, there's some kind of effect on me that you have that makes me mushy gushy. And as much as I'd love to say I hate it, I don't. _

_ I wrote to you as soon as I got done reading the letter. I hope that was soon enough for you. _

_Hailey_

_P.S. I think I'm in love with you too…_

**Author's Note: **Damn. I think I just overloaded on the angst there haha. Please review and let me know what you think. Your reviews keep me going :)


	18. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: **Ok, I seriously can't believe this is the last chapter… I hope this lives up to your guys' expectations…thank you for all of your reviews, and feedback and suggestions. It's been a fun ride :)

**Chapter 17**

_2 weeks later_

I couldn't believe I was back in my dorm room again.

I threw my ball up at the ceiling, catching it before it could fall into my chest. This was all I had been doing lately- staring at the ceiling and leaving my brain unoccupied. It was a horrible thing to do; all I did was think about Murphy. I should've been out doing things, like going to parties or exploring the world. Instead all I did was throw this stupid ball at the wall, waiting for my next class to start.

"Bri," my roommate Kelsey said, coming into the room, "You got a package."

She tossed a small padded yellow envelope at me, and walked out. It landed on my stomach and I sat up quickly, looking at the return address. It was from Ireland, and I squealed with joy. There was a white envelope attached to it, in big letters reading READ FIRST.

I ripped it open, unfolding the slightly yellowed paper.

_Dear Bri, _

_ I've never done this before. Written a romantic letter to the person I love. I'm not sure how good I'll be at it, so go into it with an open mind. _

_ I guess I'll just start out by saying I love you, and I have for a while now. You know a couple days ago would have been our technical "4 month". You can make fun of me all you want, I did keep track._

_ I remember the first time I saw you. You were so scared in the back of our car. But god, you were beautiful. Your hair was hanging in your face, and a unique color; like the color of caramel. Then we were locking eyes, and if I could, I'd stare at those pretty brown eyes all day. _

_ I remember when you tried to run away and I chased after you. I couldn't let you leave; it was like subconsciously I knew I would fall in love with you, and I couldn't let you go. You struggled and stood up for yourself, and I knew right away you were a feisty one. _

_ God, and as time went by, I could never get you out of my head. I would lie down at night, thinking about how you were asleep in the room right next to me. I would watch you move around in the morning, wishing I could make you breakfast and tell you good morning, like lovers do. I wished I could just pull you in my arms and kiss you, just once to know what it would feel like. _

_ I was freaking out honestly, when these thoughts were invading my brain. I felt creepy; like I was thinking about you too much. I think what killed me the most is for the longest time, I never thought you liked me back. It was that one day though, one normal day in the kitchen one morning. You were pouring yourself a glass of orange juice and I told you that you looked pretty that morning. It had been a slip, and I was embarrassed as soon as I said it. I'm glad I didn't look away though, because I saw your face turn bright red, and big smile come onto your face. I remember you thanking me, and mumbling something about how you liked my hair. _

_ We had finally looked at each other and smiled. That look in your eyes…I could see it. I could see that you had at least a little bit of what I felt for you._

_ The first time we kissed was amazing. I hope you felt what I did; the electricity, the intensity, the happiness, and the need. I'll never forget it…_

_ You told me about Jake that night and all I could think about was how much I wanted him to fucking die. I was debating getting on a plane right then and hunting down the mother fucker. But I kept my cool, not wanting to get crazy on you while you were pouring your heart out to me. But just know that if I ever see him, I will kill him. No one is allowed to treat you like that and get away with it. _

_ Now I'm losing track of what I was saying. _

_ When we made love….I have trouble finding the words to describe it. I know I wasn't a virgin, and I'm sorry for that. Taking your virginity though….I felt so loved. You chose me, ME, over any other boy in the entire world. I can't say I think I'm good enough for that, but I won't argue with your choice. I'll just thank God every day that I was lucky enough to find a girl like you. _

_ Ireland is so far away from where you are, but I'll always be with you. You know those stars, the moon, and the sun that are in the sky? Just know I'm always looking at the same ones as you. I love you…I love you more than I have, and ever will, love anyone else. You're the best thing to have ever happened to me. _

_ You can open the package now. If I know you at all, you've been wondering this whole time what it is, but followed the rules because you knew it was important. I hope you like it, and write me as soon as you see it._

_Love,_

_Murphy_

_P.S. Did I mention I love you? _

I stared at the letter for a moment, holding it with shaking hands. Tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks, and I smiled with a laugh. I put the letter in my lap, opening the yellow envelope. I got the top open and flipped it upside down. A small velvet box fell out, and I gasped. I opened it slowly, a small diamond ring and a note inside.

_Dear Bri (again), _

_ I know this is fast, but I can't stand the thought of living without you. _

_ Will you marry me?_

_Love, Murphy_

**~BDS~**

I sat at my desk, nibbling on the top of my pen, twiddling my ring between my thumb and forefinger. I had a piece of paper in front of me, with absolutely nothing written on it. There were so many things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and everything about him I loved. I wanted to tell him how much that letter meant to me and how I would keep it for as long as I lived. I wanted to tell him that the first time we kissed, I _did_ feel the same things he did.

I couldn't put it into words though; I couldn't figure out a way to put it on paper in a way that justified how I felt. I sighed, finally taking the pen out of my mouth and slipping the ring back on my finger.

_Dear Murphy, _

_ Of course._

_Love,_

_Bri_

_P.S. I love you more. _

**Author's Note: **The End….for now ;). Review please and thank you. I love you guys, thank you so much for reading this.

P.S. If you were wondering what the ring looks like, this is it: .com/uploaded/images/Wedding%20Rings/Engagement%


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